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@burnsideulti

@burnsideulti is the Twitter account for Burnside (USAU Club Masters 2012)

Games involving @burnsideulti
Time Team Result Team Tweets
October 27th, 2012 Burnside 0 - 0 Tejas 2 tweets
October 26th, 2012 Burnside 15 - 8 Crawl 3 tweets
October 26th, 2012 Burnside 8 - 15 Surly 2 tweets
October 25th, 2012 Burnside 15 - 10 Chesapeaked 2 tweets
Most recent tweets
@burnsideulti   Tuesday September 29th, 2015, 1:31 a.m. Retweet
With one time leagues you can earn weekly payouts of thin porridge on FanGruel dot com. Not a gambling website.
@burnsideulti   Monday September 28th, 2015, 8:12 p.m. Retweet
Annie's bunny crackers also look like one of the Rhino players jumping up to catch a disc. I won't say which one. http://t.co/2hbCx2X1C4
@burnsideulti   Monday September 28th, 2015, 1:54 p.m. Retweet
Science calculates that the moon revolves around the earth, but can't yet prove that the earth doesn't revolve around GOALTY.
@burnsideulti   Monday September 28th, 2015, 3:35 a.m. Retweet
@burnsideulti I bet they they say "yah chut" when there are no poor people around and laugh at us.
@burnsideulti   Monday September 28th, 2015, 3:11 a.m. Retweet
Best way to cut to the hoop and lose your defender for a score. https://t.co/SPYXpo5Zd0
@burnsideulti   Sunday September 27th, 2015, 10:43 p.m. Retweet
My life partner's wearing socks and sandals so I'm going to go play goaltimate because I can't even
@burnsideulti   Sunday September 27th, 2015, 2:59 p.m. Retweet
Maybe if my grandpa's friends had actually learned how to keep a frisbee throw inbounds, people wouldn't call them the greatest generation.
@burnsideulti   Sunday September 27th, 2015, 2:11 p.m. Retweet
Fantasy goalty ?: Which STEVE should I start in a ppr league? FARRING turns it over constantly, but HUGHES also turns it over constantly.
@burnsideulti   Sunday September 27th, 2015, 3:25 a.m. Retweet
RT @danecarbaugh: This game is a good reminder to never move to Oregon. It's terrible here.
@burnsideulti   Saturday September 26th, 2015, 11:40 p.m. Retweet
I've resorted to shopping at the Safeway near my house like some kind of a poor from circumstances.
@burnsideulti   Saturday September 26th, 2015, 9:58 p.m. Retweet
RT @jon_bois: with these gloves players are wearing, they can catch anything. get this garbage out of baseball
@burnsideulti   Saturday September 26th, 2015, 1:52 p.m. Retweet
Best part of goalty is: everything. Best part of ulty is: continental breakfast waffles on tournament weekends.
@burnsideulti   Saturday September 26th, 2015, 2:42 a.m. Retweet
This pasta would be great at GOALTY. Cut and clear. Cut and clear. Cut and clear. Never stop. https://t.co/3k4720oMgY
@burnsideulti   Friday September 25th, 2015, 6:54 p.m. Retweet
RT @WhatIfBot1: What if series was a real thing?
@burnsideulti   Friday September 25th, 2015, 3:20 a.m. Retweet
I'm glad cell phones didn't exist in the 80s, bc then we wouldn't have heard how important it was for Billy to not lose that number.
@burnsideulti   Friday September 25th, 2015, 1:59 a.m. Retweet
Waltzing w brashir Walking w dinosaurs Playing w fire Sleeping w the enemy Dancing w the devil Goaltimating w BURNSIDEULTI
@burnsideulti   Thursday September 24th, 2015, 10:35 p.m. Retweet
The biggest problem I have with the 1%, is they decided we shouldn't pronounce the CH in "yacht".
@burnsideulti   Thursday September 24th, 2015, 4:31 p.m. Retweet
You might think it's hard, or inappropriate to write a bunch of tweets about Goaltimate but you'd be wrong because you're just small minded.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday September 23rd, 2015, 8:39 p.m. Retweet
Not playing Goaltimate is like cutting off your nose despite your face.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday September 23rd, 2015, 4:33 p.m. Retweet
In the 18th century while traveling the Oregon trail, playing Goaltimate was the most common plan to survive the next three winters.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday September 23rd, 2015, 3:23 p.m. Retweet
RT @Reverend_Scott: Girl: I'm just not crazy about u. Me in a suit covered in butter knives: U win this time ZZ Top.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday September 23rd, 2015, 1:06 p.m. Retweet
Sun rises in 14 minutes. Time for Goaltimate.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday September 23rd, 2015, 3:18 a.m. Retweet
If you want to talk music, I would go so far as to say that Led Zep's first 3 albums compare quite favorably to the entire Smashmouth oeuvre
@burnsideulti   Tuesday September 22nd, 2015, 11:55 p.m. Retweet
RT @JeppsonsMalort: This Summer is over when we SAY it's over. http://t.co/XnBCalOAMe
@burnsideulti   Tuesday September 22nd, 2015, 6:24 p.m. Retweet
If someone came from the future and told me before the season started that if the playoffs started today, we'd be in 3rd place, I'd take it.
@burnsideulti   Tuesday September 22nd, 2015, 3:12 p.m. Retweet
When in a new town for goalty, I warm up throwing lefty bc when the game starts I'll blow minds when I'm still a lefty, I just can't throw.
@burnsideulti   Tuesday September 22nd, 2015, 4:59 a.m. Retweet
Remember when players from the 'Couv used to wear one new balance and one Gaia cleat? How was that a thing? https://t.co/i14Nt7i3nV
@burnsideulti   Tuesday September 22nd, 2015, 2:58 a.m. Retweet
"Goaltimate Villains" is an anagram for "It Omits a Illegal Van"
@burnsideulti   Monday September 21st, 2015, 11:13 p.m. Retweet
I think the joke is that Chad is really good at goaltimate, so they are the front runners. https://t.co/sgTv4Xs0mN
@burnsideulti   Monday September 21st, 2015, 6:08 p.m. Retweet
The mainstream media is conducting a war against Goaltimate. Where do you stand?
@burnsideulti   Monday September 21st, 2015, 4:24 p.m. Retweet
Don't even try to talk to me in the morning until I've had my Goaltimate! lol!
@burnsideulti   Sunday September 20th, 2015, 11:45 p.m. Retweet
Goaltimate is like the #Emmys but professional football is like the daytime Emmys.
@burnsideulti   Sunday September 20th, 2015, 9:49 p.m. Retweet
Product review request: What Bluetooth earbud is best to use while I play Goaltimate? FYI I'm very important and can't have dropped calls.
@burnsideulti   Sunday September 20th, 2015, 8:38 p.m. Retweet
My Goaltimate squad calls me Mister Second Quarter
@burnsideulti   Sunday September 20th, 2015, 3:28 p.m. Retweet
I think a professional athlete could learn to be good at Goaltimate. Especially if they played basketball or football for money.
@burnsideulti   Sunday September 20th, 2015, 2:32 a.m. Retweet
RT @scottEweinberg: I propose that we change "Talk Like a Pirate Day" to "Talk Like Paul Lynde Day." RT for yes. Fave for no. http://t.co/…
@burnsideulti   Sunday September 20th, 2015, 1:31 a.m. Retweet
I'm carbo loading for Goaltimate tomorrow. Someone please hold a game and invite me or these four plates of pasta will just turn to fat.
@burnsideulti   Saturday September 19th, 2015, 3:47 p.m. Retweet
@burnsideulti Title ideas: HOOPWARRIORS TEAM YOUTH ARC DEATHGOAL WHERE ARE MY PARENTS FIGHT MATCH TWILITED: THROWING FIRE
@burnsideulti   Saturday September 19th, 2015, 2:40 p.m. Retweet
RT @TedNugent: obama is a Christian & Im a gay vegetarian pirate
@burnsideulti   Saturday September 19th, 2015, 2:36 p.m. Retweet
Saturday is the Goaltimate shabbos around here. It's a day of rest for respect. Unless you know of a game, then text me and I'll show up.
@burnsideulti   Saturday September 19th, 2015, 1:19 a.m. Retweet
Friday goalty, it's like the weekend started early!
@burnsideulti   Friday September 18th, 2015, 7:24 p.m. Retweet
Alex Smith hasn't thrown a TD to a WR in over a year, but I haven't scored in a Usau game since 2008 & nobody writes hot taeks about that.
@burnsideulti   Friday September 18th, 2015, 3:38 a.m. Retweet
Peyton's out there like a kid, having fun, and very lightly tossing around the ol' pigskin.
@burnsideulti   Friday September 18th, 2015, 3:36 a.m. Retweet
Football now owns Thr, Fri, Sat, Sun & Mon broadcasts. Ulty should focus on Wed markets. The MLU can have Tue morning before they fold.
@burnsideulti   Thursday September 17th, 2015, 8:33 p.m. Retweet
I'll open it up to you, should I have an affair? I'm thinking of playing volleyball instead of GOALTY this weekend.
@burnsideulti   Thursday September 17th, 2015, 3:20 p.m. Retweet
The first person who writes a dystopian YA novel about Goaltimate is going to be a billionaire.
@burnsideulti   Thursday September 17th, 2015, 12:19 a.m. Retweet
I always vote based on which candidate I would most want to play goaltimate with.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday September 16th, 2015, 7:16 p.m. Retweet
Goaltimate judges have denied my bail, because when I'm on the field I'm a definite flight risk.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday September 16th, 2015, 4:46 p.m. Retweet
RT @danecarbaugh: Fake High School In an Early 2000s Teen Movie || Power Jammies || Adult Kickball Team Taking It Way Too Seriously http://…
@burnsideulti   Wednesday September 16th, 2015, 4:07 p.m. Retweet
RT @Aerostars4Sale: In The Aerostar Over The Sea http://t.co/a0LjaF7pvU
@burnsideulti   Wednesday September 16th, 2015, 3:35 p.m. Retweet
If Scientists ever combined the best thing in the world with the worst thing in the world they would create Goateetimate.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday September 16th, 2015, 12:55 a.m. Retweet
The kind of person whose only heckle is "not a puller!" wears crocs and uses the spare tire doughnut for highway driving.
@burnsideulti   Tuesday September 15th, 2015, 10:35 p.m. Retweet
My master's coach said my hands were too small to be an O line cutter. Who cares, I'm a Goaltimate player, he can go screw for all I care.
@burnsideulti   Tuesday September 15th, 2015, 4:18 p.m. Retweet
@burnsideulti Corrected: I actually own a tuxedo so why should I listen to your opinions on Goaltimate?
@burnsideulti   Tuesday September 15th, 2015, 3:34 p.m. Retweet
I actually own a tux Cito's awash to listen to you about your commute on Goldman
@burnsideulti   Tuesday September 15th, 2015, 2:18 a.m. Retweet
Sorry dark team. I'm the one who told Ron not to score when we got close to the hoop last game. Thought we should turn it & let time run out
@burnsideulti   Tuesday September 15th, 2015, 12:11 a.m. Retweet
ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOSBALL!
@burnsideulti   Monday September 14th, 2015, 9:23 p.m. Retweet
Weather is looking a little shady for GOALTY today. Luckily I always bring gloves. Put them on over my cleats so my laces don't get muddy.
@burnsideulti   Monday September 14th, 2015, 7:17 p.m. Retweet
Compared to all other disc sports, you might say that one is the... ( •_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■) "Guts" #YEEEEEEEEAAAH!
@burnsideulti   Monday September 14th, 2015, 6:54 p.m. Retweet
Big GOALTY game this Monday. Who do you predict we give the game ball to?
@burnsideulti   Monday September 14th, 2015, 3:27 p.m. Retweet
"Goaltimate sounds fun, I should play it" said everyone ever.
@burnsideulti   Monday September 14th, 2015, 1:06 p.m. Retweet
Why is 9 minutes the universal snooze time amount? Is it bc of the Romans or Leonardo DaVincio? Probably Tesla or some dumb act of Congress
@burnsideulti   Sunday September 13th, 2015, 11:14 p.m. Retweet
If cars could play Goaltimate, what kind would be best? I'm thinking either a @NissanLeafPt or a @vw_passat Lincoln Navigator distant 3rd
@burnsideulti   Sunday September 13th, 2015, 9:25 p.m. Retweet
Why'd you cut Vin? He would have at least filmed that the right direction. https://t.co/Z6QZUJxjZI
@burnsideulti   Sunday September 13th, 2015, 5:09 p.m. Retweet
RIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES: Goaltimate Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore.
@burnsideulti   Sunday September 13th, 2015, 2:19 p.m. Retweet
Interesting facts: No GOALTY player has ever compared themselves to a "warrior" or the game to a "battle".
@burnsideulti   Saturday September 12th, 2015, 9:28 p.m. Retweet
RT @Dame_Lillard: These haircuts gettin out of control.
@burnsideulti   Saturday September 12th, 2015, 6:56 p.m. Retweet
@burnsideulti Zoo architect was an option if the schooling didn't take so long.
@burnsideulti   Saturday September 12th, 2015, 6:53 p.m. Retweet
2016 is a big year for us. We're very excited about the people born in 1983. You'll see us on the open circuit again https://t.co/Uzyr2hkSeZ
@burnsideulti   Saturday September 12th, 2015, 5:37 p.m. Retweet
I guess if I hadn't gotten really into Goaltimate, I probably would have gotten into accounts payable/accounts receivable for a zoo.
@burnsideulti   Saturday September 12th, 2015, 3:20 p.m. Retweet
GRE TIME: Ultimate is to Goaltimate as Dire Straits is to _______ A:Thin Lizzy B:REO Speedwagon C:ZZ Top D:Huey Lewis and the News
@burnsideulti   Saturday September 12th, 2015, 1:45 p.m. Retweet
@burnsideulti @admitators are you mathematically eliminated yet? Want to bring back the custom kits early so we can play this afternoon?
@burnsideulti   Saturday September 12th, 2015, 2:46 a.m. Retweet
Good luck to all the teams who are trying to lose enough games this weekend so that they get to join Goaltimate season quicker!
@burnsideulti   Friday September 11th, 2015, 7:52 p.m. Retweet
Hate to air dirty laundry, but the PDX GOALTY email list is full of biters. I'm actually glad I got banned. So basic, haters gonna hate #smh
@burnsideulti   Friday September 11th, 2015, 4:23 p.m. Retweet
BEST DONUT: Old fashioned BEST WHISKEY DRINK: Old fashioned BEST FLYING DISC SPORT: Cower* *i was just as surprised as you at this vote
@burnsideulti   Friday September 11th, 2015, 1:40 p.m. Retweet
I don't have a sociology degree, but my solution to the #SyrianRefugees would be to teach them Goaltimate. FYI what exactly is sociology?
@burnsideulti   Friday September 11th, 2015, 2:13 a.m. Retweet
RT @boring_as_heck: ME: I call it "sportsball" instead of "sports" to comically show disdain for the very concept. PRIEST: Ok that's not re…
@burnsideulti   Thursday September 10th, 2015, 2:38 p.m. Retweet
Ain't it always the way, give a kid a fancy toy that comes in a plain old cardboard box, and they always choose to play Goaltimate instead!
@burnsideulti   Thursday September 10th, 2015, 1:12 p.m. Retweet
Do you like GOALTY? Yes[ ] No[ ]
@burnsideulti   Thursday September 10th, 2015, 2:07 a.m. Retweet
Blades are not only legal, they are encouraged at GOALTY https://t.co/W5tkVJxO4F
@burnsideulti   Wednesday September 9th, 2015, 6:38 p.m. Retweet
If you've been making fun of my cargo shorts, jokes on you because the weather got colder so now I'm wearing cargo pants instead.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday September 9th, 2015, 1:28 p.m. Retweet
I think my favorite Hemingway story is the one where you think it's about a white elephant party but it's really about a Yankee swap party.
@burnsideulti   Tuesday September 8th, 2015, 10:38 p.m. Retweet
.@JeffSnader You got lucky you were fired the same day as the @united CEO. Now your failures aren't big news.
@burnsideulti   Tuesday September 8th, 2015, 6:38 p.m. Retweet
Breaking News: Philadelphia entrepreneur finally runs out of positions to fall upwards into.
@burnsideulti   Tuesday September 8th, 2015, 5:30 p.m. Retweet
It's high time I started explaining why Goaltimate is the sport of kings, first off the 4v4 format lends itself best to equal (1/475)
@burnsideulti   Tuesday September 8th, 2015, 1:07 a.m. Retweet
@burnsideulti it's now up to three games and twenty six subs on the sidelines.
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