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@burnsideulti

@burnsideulti is the Twitter account for Burnside (USAU Club Masters 2012)

Games involving @burnsideulti
Time Team Result Team Tweets
October 27th, 2012 Burnside 0 - 0 Tejas 2 tweets
October 26th, 2012 Burnside 15 - 8 Crawl 3 tweets
October 26th, 2012 Burnside 8 - 15 Surly 2 tweets
October 25th, 2012 Burnside 15 - 10 Chesapeaked 2 tweets
Most recent tweets
@burnsideulti   Wednesday August 19th, 2015, 2:28 p.m. Retweet
Do you think bassists and guitarists would get along better if they met in the middle and both used 5 strings?
@burnsideulti   Wednesday August 19th, 2015, 1:44 p.m. Retweet
"When I root I root for the truffles". I bet that's a fun thing for talking pigs to say.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday August 19th, 2015, 1:29 a.m. Retweet
@burnsideulti These were the businesses on the block where I used to work.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday August 19th, 2015, 1:28 a.m. Retweet
Dance studio Anarchist bookstore Tattoo parlor Lingerie shop Acupuncturist Place to buy non sexual hugs and cuddles Methadone clinic
@burnsideulti   Tuesday August 18th, 2015, 4:29 p.m. Retweet
Imagine a world w/out 4ultimate: Did you picture the Matrix, Bladerunner, or Mad Max: Fury Road? #fourulty
@burnsideulti   Tuesday August 18th, 2015, 2:47 p.m. Retweet
We have wifi at our new job. Which is absolutely critical when you are running a pretend business on the side. #fourulty
@burnsideulti   Tuesday August 18th, 2015, 2:03 p.m. Retweet
Pdx is just lucky that @USAUltimate hasn't figured out that Rhino, Schwa, Burnside and Horse$haq are all slang terms for sex positions.
@burnsideulti   Tuesday August 18th, 2015, 1:03 a.m. Retweet
Four*Ultimate, celebrating ten straight hours of making your business our *business*. #fourulty
@burnsideulti   Monday August 17th, 2015, 5:43 p.m. Retweet
Before you say something rude on the Internet, take a second to remember that everyone could be someone else's brother in law. #fourulty
@burnsideulti   Monday August 17th, 2015, 3:22 p.m. Retweet
Four Ultimate? It's like Five Ultimate just with less products or siblings. #fourulty
@burnsideulti   Monday August 17th, 2015, 2:28 p.m. Retweet
We don't make anything you like, but we like the things you make better. #fourulty
@burnsideulti   Monday August 17th, 2015, 2:05 p.m. Retweet
We don't sell anything, but if we did we'd give our fans a discount. #fourulty
@burnsideulti   Monday August 17th, 2015, 1:29 p.m. Retweet
Do you have six friends? Get ready to make seven more...Play Ultimate! #fourulty
@burnsideulti   Friday August 14th, 2015, 11:29 p.m. Retweet
@burnsideulti See you again once I find out if I get a new work computer.
@burnsideulti   Friday August 14th, 2015, 11:28 p.m. Retweet
You. Can't. Bring. Me. Down. I land on my feet, boom, new job found before the end o the last day! http://t.co/kPMfm7wdRm
@burnsideulti   Friday August 14th, 2015, 8:09 p.m. Retweet
@burnsideulti Will everybody refriend me when I make a new account? @wackyburnside is what I hope to register for.
@burnsideulti   Friday August 14th, 2015, 8:08 p.m. Retweet
@burnsideulti I don't know the password to this account, it's only saved on this browser. Once I leave today I can't post updates anymore.
@burnsideulti   Friday August 14th, 2015, 8:06 p.m. Retweet
Nobody seems to be showing the appropriate levels of freakoutedness that my only internet connectivity is here at work.
@burnsideulti   Friday August 14th, 2015, 6:25 p.m. Retweet
First website to hit up when job hunting? http://t.co/lmCAkM70Lc Not to work there, but to make sure I can walk there for lunch!
@burnsideulti   Friday August 14th, 2015, 5:25 p.m. Retweet
Whoever said it was easier to get a job when you have a job was full of it. Like I can leave work to go apply? I guess I can go at lunch.
@burnsideulti   Friday August 14th, 2015, 5:25 p.m. Retweet
@burnsideulti Which is bull in itself because how can I apply for jobs and go to lunchtime pickup?
@burnsideulti   Friday August 14th, 2015, 5:04 p.m. Retweet
I've been here seven years and only used up this many business cards http://t.co/aEOuLM2kOA
@burnsideulti   Friday August 14th, 2015, 4:40 p.m. Retweet
I bet this place falls apart on Monday. I'll bring this company down around me. They're gonna rue the day they messed with Jeff S.
@burnsideulti   Friday August 14th, 2015, 4:21 p.m. Retweet
Can you get arrested after the fact if they find you top shelfed the toilet in the exec washroom? Is there a statue of litigations on that?
@burnsideulti   Friday August 14th, 2015, 2:31 p.m. Retweet
Trackpants *are* casual. Dockers are constrictive prisons of hate around my groin and thighs. Sorry boss, but Casual Friday My Ass.
@burnsideulti   Friday August 14th, 2015, 1:38 p.m. Retweet
What is "sevens" pay anyway? One week salary? And how do I apply for it after I quit?
@burnsideulti   Friday August 14th, 2015, 1:07 p.m. Retweet
I think I'm going to unscrew the lid on my old bottle of kimchee in the work frij and hide it in the butter drawer.
@burnsideulti   Friday August 14th, 2015, 1:30 a.m. Retweet
I bet every time he goes into the adidas store they give him two freebies from now on. https://t.co/6vvUkdgvbd
@burnsideulti   Friday August 14th, 2015, 12:53 a.m. Retweet
HRs gonna be pissed when I don't show up on Monday but instead they find my sign on break room toilet: YOU CANT FIR3 ME I QUIT
@burnsideulti   Friday August 14th, 2015, 12:27 a.m. Retweet
I'm not really quitting work bc of the goatee guy, it's bc the CFO grilled the dogs weird at the company picnic. Quit rolling them so much!
@burnsideulti   Friday August 14th, 2015, 12:08 a.m. Retweet
Friday's my last day at work. Am I supposed to tell HR or just not come back Monday?
@burnsideulti   Thursday August 13th, 2015, 10:01 p.m. Retweet
@burnsideulti Yeah, I'm pretty sure you didn't know because we weren't invited.
@burnsideulti   Thursday August 13th, 2015, 9:54 p.m. Retweet
Did you guys know that Canada is having their own upa tournament right now?
@burnsideulti   Wednesday August 12th, 2015, 7:41 p.m. Retweet
When you know that you're the reason the other team switched to a straight up mark. http://t.co/qNx5exzBNo
@burnsideulti   Wednesday August 12th, 2015, 2:27 p.m. Retweet
No one ever laid on their deathbed and said "I wish my team had spent more time playing a clam"
@burnsideulti   Wednesday August 12th, 2015, 7:15 a.m. Retweet
I didn't get a single Led Zeppelin bot to follow me yesterday. What a waste of time.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday August 12th, 2015, 1:00 a.m. Retweet
RT @EpcotCentre: Spending a few hours at a carnival will keep your child entertained. Spending a few hours at Epcot will enrich your child …
@burnsideulti   Wednesday August 12th, 2015, 12:59 a.m. Retweet
That was awesome, thanks. @allstarulti @100percentBS
@burnsideulti   Tuesday August 11th, 2015, 11:28 p.m. Retweet
People loved the original Star Wars for all the practical effects. Hollywood just won't build spaceships that actually fly in space anymore.
@burnsideulti   Tuesday August 11th, 2015, 10:29 p.m. Retweet
.@LedZepNews doing a rock/rap track with @KidRock or @souljaboy ? Tell me that wouldn't be dope on a Transformers soundtrack?
@burnsideulti   Tuesday August 11th, 2015, 10:19 p.m. Retweet
Just imagine if @LedZeppelin_ had been around when Return Of The Two Kings came out? I bet they wouldn't have broken up.
@burnsideulti   Tuesday August 11th, 2015, 10:19 p.m. Retweet
.@ledzeppelin_vn would be awesome if they were still around today, probably opening shows at intimate venues 4 bands like @BlackKeysWisdom
@burnsideulti   Tuesday August 11th, 2015, 7:26 p.m. Retweet
.@ledzeppelin was a band way ahead of its time. They released lord of the rings themed songs 30 YEARS before the movies came out!
@burnsideulti   Tuesday August 11th, 2015, 2:28 p.m. Retweet
I'd eat there a lot more often if they were called Pantera Bread.
@burnsideulti   Monday August 10th, 2015, 5:44 p.m. Retweet
RT @Reverend_Scott: when mom tells u to go outside and play with ur friends http://t.co/Dm79XXtIfv
@burnsideulti   Monday August 10th, 2015, 2:08 p.m. Retweet
We had our end of the year banquet on Saturday, and retired Paterson and Mel's jerseys. The salmon was excellent. http://t.co/a8oTmxOHOZ
@burnsideulti   Monday August 10th, 2015, 2:19 a.m. Retweet
@burnsideulti Whoops sorry. Turns out that is actually poison.
@burnsideulti   Monday August 10th, 2015, 2:09 a.m. Retweet
Dentistry Protip: If you don't have time to brush your teeth in the morning, chew a denture tablet. Easy peasy. http://t.co/0lK5GECk3Q
@burnsideulti   Sunday August 9th, 2015, 9:38 p.m. Retweet
Personally I would say Cocks was only 8" away, but others would say more like 4". https://t.co/t22xFzE63T
@burnsideulti   Sunday August 9th, 2015, 9:13 p.m. Retweet
How's there no live tweeting scores from the local fifth tier mixed tourney? How we gonna know who moves into the top 50 in usau rankings?
@burnsideulti   Saturday August 8th, 2015, 4:37 p.m. Retweet
Protip: when your toothbrush gets that gross paste and plaque buildup on the handle, use your wife's toothbrush to scrub it off.
@burnsideulti   Saturday August 8th, 2015, 3:28 p.m. Retweet
Currently making some Camellia sinensis infused water. Only in Portlandia! lol
@burnsideulti   Friday August 7th, 2015, 6:09 p.m. Retweet
@burnsideulti He refused to shave, so I gave my two weeks notice. That'll teach him.
@burnsideulti   Friday August 7th, 2015, 6:07 p.m. Retweet
RT @dannyquarrell: Thank you John Thornton and @mjgrill for all your help this year. #teameffort https://t.co/srwDgMxrJD
@burnsideulti   Friday August 7th, 2015, 1:41 p.m. Retweet
Pa and I decided not to plant any soy beans on the back thirty today on account of the weevils. #fallowfriday
@burnsideulti   Friday August 7th, 2015, 3:52 a.m. Retweet
RT @ProBirdRights: closing stament: #Birb2016 #Birb2016 #Birb2016 #Birb2016 #Birb2016 #Birb2016 #Birb2016 #Birb2016? yes #Birb2016 #Birb201…
@burnsideulti   Friday August 7th, 2015, 3:38 a.m. Retweet
Burnside exclusively breeds with zfg. We are studs in a different sense. Because we are not actually good players. https://t.co/nzVitdeOmh
@burnsideulti   Thursday August 6th, 2015, 9:38 p.m. Retweet
Elevator at work needs backup battery fixed so it beeps nonstop. Coworker has a goatee & calls me buddy. Don't know which is more annoying.
@burnsideulti   Thursday August 6th, 2015, 3:49 p.m. Retweet
If it's like HOT FLASH(OPEN), he's the worst player on the team. The guy that only makes the last cut bc he's funny. https://t.co/ohPCKhxzxi
@burnsideulti   Thursday August 6th, 2015, 1:15 p.m. Retweet
RT @kylekinane: "Spies Like Us" is the best Beatles song.
@burnsideulti   Thursday August 6th, 2015, 1:14 p.m. Retweet
Hypothetical?: If you gave all 31 NFL head coaches 3 months to prepare, could they play a game to 13 with less than five having a coronary?
@burnsideulti   Thursday August 6th, 2015, 1:22 a.m. Retweet
Any nexgen or all*ulti player ever realize during a home made meal they only made team bc of the strategic location of their parents house?
@burnsideulti   Wednesday August 5th, 2015, 10:21 p.m. Retweet
How are we supposed to know that's their team if they don't use their real team name on Twitter? https://t.co/tYP9YCZScX
@burnsideulti   Wednesday August 5th, 2015, 10:11 p.m. Retweet
Freeze and Birdfruit better step up their game if they expect to earn another natties bid for the administrators https://t.co/4wSGcjYBiU
@burnsideulti   Wednesday August 5th, 2015, 9:17 p.m. Retweet
I think NYC has a fat butt, because they always use Toronto or Vancouver as a body double. https://t.co/88tItwEJs1
@burnsideulti   Wednesday August 5th, 2015, 9:12 p.m. Retweet
RT @BlunderingIdiom: Birth control? BAN IT! Abortion? BAN IT! Gay marriage? BAN IT! Guns? Look, banning things never works. People will fin…
@burnsideulti   Wednesday August 5th, 2015, 4:44 p.m. Retweet
When I'm 1st car at a really short left turn intersection I get legitimately happy at how many people I get thru with me bc I start fast.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday August 5th, 2015, 3:54 p.m. Retweet
Remember that time the babysitter took too many pots and put the baby in the microwave right before the big tournament?
@burnsideulti   Wednesday August 5th, 2015, 3:28 p.m. Retweet
Remember that time you could retire off beanie babies if you got the whole set from McDonald's happy meals right before the big tournament?
@burnsideulti   Wednesday August 5th, 2015, 3:22 p.m. Retweet
Remember that time when the president was born in Kenya right before the big tournament?
@burnsideulti   Wednesday August 5th, 2015, 3:16 p.m. Retweet
Remember that time the used sports car I bought really cheap smelled bad bc of the dead body right before the big tournament?
@burnsideulti   Wednesday August 5th, 2015, 3:11 p.m. Retweet
Remember that time we bathed and blow dried the neighbors dead pet bunny based on a misunderstanding right before the big tournament?
@burnsideulti   Wednesday August 5th, 2015, 1:29 p.m. Retweet
.@sludgebrown Did you see the #mastersnats stats? Open players could learn from us, we were all super efficient. 0 turns for the tourney.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday August 5th, 2015, 1:25 a.m. Retweet
RT @annfriedman: Pie chart: Why are we so eager to defund Planned Parenthood? http://t.co/B3fqQW76oB http://t.co/7VcrrwzL4G
@burnsideulti   Tuesday August 4th, 2015, 11:30 p.m. Retweet
When a disc dreams, it dreams it's an @InnovaDiscs Sponsored. Please reimburse me via PayPal https://t.co/7ZA1iLM34B
@burnsideulti   Tuesday August 4th, 2015, 11:09 p.m. Retweet
RT @houffy: Just being a good father, teaching my daughter to play basketball: http://t.co/HCBr6itl2w
@burnsideulti   Tuesday August 4th, 2015, 9:07 p.m. Retweet
I'm going to have an Internet pizza party once I get back down to under a hundred followers.
@burnsideulti   Tuesday August 4th, 2015, 8:36 p.m. Retweet
.@bryanrwalsh don't listen to the haters. Raunchy post game cheers are the only reason I play ultimate.
@burnsideulti   Tuesday August 4th, 2015, 7:13 p.m. Retweet
Life is a funny thing. Somewhere in the world at this very moment somebody might be listening to Collective Soil.
@burnsideulti   Tuesday August 4th, 2015, 5:14 p.m. Retweet
That's easy to say when you're winning. What about if your team stinks like ours does? https://t.co/EkFusQvZ8M
@burnsideulti   Tuesday August 4th, 2015, 1:32 p.m. Retweet
Ever feel like you were born in the wrong era? I honestly believe if I was five years younger I could have saved Google plus.
@burnsideulti   Monday August 3rd, 2015, 11:33 p.m. Retweet
RT @EpcotCentre: We're not allowed to wish people a happy birthday over our public address system, so please don't ask.
@burnsideulti   Monday August 3rd, 2015, 10:18 p.m. Retweet
Legend has it that you could put a dollar bill on top of the backboard and basketball great Wilt Chamberlain would ignore it to go have sex.
@burnsideulti   Monday August 3rd, 2015, 7:40 p.m. Retweet
One thing you better learn *pretty* quick in my line of work is that lots of cultures have their own distinct version of fermented cabbage.
@burnsideulti   Monday August 3rd, 2015, 5:51 p.m. Retweet
Where's all the Masters 2016 chatter? Will BKFT, Walker and Boneyard repeat? Or will they not attend bc of WUGC. #mastersnats
@burnsideulti   Monday August 3rd, 2015, 1:26 p.m. Retweet
RT @AbrasiveGhost: [Buying white shorts] Yesss I cannot wait to ruin these forever tomorrow
@burnsideulti   Monday August 3rd, 2015, 1:21 p.m. Retweet
@burnsideulti And those are even his autobiographies.
@burnsideulti   Monday August 3rd, 2015, 1:12 p.m. Retweet
There's precedence for Atticus changing wildly from book to book. Check out the bible, God's totally different from Old to New Testament.
@burnsideulti   Monday August 3rd, 2015, 2:53 a.m. Retweet
Has anyone compared these to frictions or mints or gorilla gloves? Want to know b4 I buy. https://t.co/TpynhyS3GF
@burnsideulti   Monday August 3rd, 2015, 2:22 a.m. Retweet
Why are folks so proud of the Olympics? I could officially recognize a frisbee when I was 8. "Dude that's a frisbee, let's toss" I would say
@burnsideulti   Sunday August 2nd, 2015, 11:21 p.m. Retweet
That feeling when you're the first one down on the pull http://t.co/xBe5hVjthA
@burnsideulti   Sunday August 2nd, 2015, 6:16 p.m. Retweet
@burnsideulti Never mind, that one guy is named Ryan. I know three people.
@burnsideulti   Sunday August 2nd, 2015, 6:13 p.m. Retweet
Went for a walk & 4 blocks from my house ran into two mixed club teams having a scrimmage. I can only name two players I see. I'm old :(
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