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@burnsideulti

@burnsideulti is the Twitter account for Burnside (USAU Club Masters 2012)

Games involving @burnsideulti
Time Team Result Team Tweets
October 27th, 2012 Burnside 0 - 0 Tejas 2 tweets
October 26th, 2012 Burnside 15 - 8 Crawl 3 tweets
October 26th, 2012 Burnside 8 - 15 Surly 2 tweets
October 25th, 2012 Burnside 15 - 10 Chesapeaked 2 tweets
Most recent tweets
@burnsideulti   Monday September 7th, 2015, 9:21 p.m. Retweet
[gohl-*tuhh*-mitt] is the correct pronunciation. Quit saying [GO-al-tim-*eht*] you look sound like an idiot.
@burnsideulti   Monday September 7th, 2015, 7:30 p.m. Retweet
They call this the "Good Book", but you don't need it in goalty. There aren't even observers, let alone refs. http://t.co/4Y4dj6my9G
@burnsideulti   Monday September 7th, 2015, 4:16 p.m. Retweet
Best thing about going to work on Labor Day is there's absolutely no traffic since everyone else is at the park playing morning GOALTY.
@burnsideulti   Monday September 7th, 2015, 4:15 p.m. Retweet
Goaltimate is no place for socialism, what, am I suppose to share my cheeky scubers and tasty point blocks? I don't think so Bernie Sanders.
@burnsideulti   Sunday September 6th, 2015, 11:39 p.m. Retweet
Does it have the four people who voted for you for pada board inside? https://t.co/cCwR9W22T3
@burnsideulti   Sunday September 6th, 2015, 11:20 p.m. Retweet
Played some full field, no hoop, 7 man GOALTY today. After every score we ended up throwing a "kickoff" to the other team. It was wackadoo.
@burnsideulti   Sunday September 6th, 2015, 3:04 p.m. Retweet
There's no official Goaltimate emoji. /^\ That's the best janky one I could come up with on my own. :(
@burnsideulti   Saturday September 5th, 2015, 8:28 p.m. Retweet
RT @dwayne759384752: Elite Digest: The Digest for Elites™
@burnsideulti   Saturday September 5th, 2015, 6:05 p.m. Retweet
@burnsideulti Well not at this field, there's actually only room for GOALTY here, and the clear zone will be a little tight near that tree.
@burnsideulti   Saturday September 5th, 2015, 6:03 p.m. Retweet
I've been losing followers like I declared a fatwa on ultimate. There's room for both sports!
@burnsideulti   Saturday September 5th, 2015, 2:54 p.m. Retweet
When asked why I play ulty w a semicircle hoop, I give a lecture on how the material's tensile strength actually makes it more of a parabola
@burnsideulti   Friday September 4th, 2015, 11:32 p.m. Retweet
@FiveUltimateLLC Yvin, if you need help escaping, just fave my next three posts and I can call the police.
@burnsideulti   Friday September 4th, 2015, 9:09 p.m. Retweet
RT @emmatheist: No coke, is pepsi ok? No chocolate, is vanilla ok? No frisbees, is a table saw blade ok? No heaven, i s h e l l o k
@burnsideulti   Friday September 4th, 2015, 9:08 p.m. Retweet
RT @MeyersLeonard11: Having to be 25 to rent an SUV from car rental places has got to be one of the most annoying rules ever. Makes me mad …
@burnsideulti   Friday September 4th, 2015, 7:14 p.m. Retweet
.@Ulti_world are you investigating the claims that the @FiveUltimateLLC Twitter is actually run by the 6th sibling locked in the basement?
@burnsideulti   Friday September 4th, 2015, 6:45 p.m. Retweet
Many people think the term Goaltimate comes from "go ultimate" meaning a faster type of ultimate. This is incorrect.
@burnsideulti   Friday September 4th, 2015, 5:31 p.m. Retweet
Goaltimate is like sex at a campsite. It's fucking intents. https://t.co/LVEtAWDXNg
@burnsideulti   Friday September 4th, 2015, 4:09 p.m. Retweet
@burnsideulti Jock Jams was the greatest recording artist of our generation. His 2nd album was weak but his third was hella tight again.
@burnsideulti   Friday September 4th, 2015, 4:05 p.m. Retweet
I always play GOALTY w ear buds and listen to JOCK JAMS That way every thing that happens is a sportscenter top ten play of the week.
@burnsideulti   Friday September 4th, 2015, 2:19 p.m. Retweet
RT @elle91: The weirdest thing about homophobia is how people can think that loving someone is a bigger sin than hating someone.
@burnsideulti   Friday September 4th, 2015, 1:52 p.m. Retweet
SUCK AND SUB is the best way to play GOALTY. It's pretty much the best way to play the game of life. @congress are you listening?
@burnsideulti   Thursday September 3rd, 2015, 7:25 p.m. Retweet
RT @itsCrab: Kim Davis looks like she probably showed rabbits as a child.
@burnsideulti   Thursday September 3rd, 2015, 3:35 p.m. Retweet
I'm not really sure if this means we made the big time. #musicontap311 http://t.co/T5BjXzIz1l
@burnsideulti   Wednesday September 2nd, 2015, 6:02 p.m. Retweet
I've lost six followers since Goaltimate Season started. If you could still read this, just know that we're all disappointed in you.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday September 2nd, 2015, 4:24 p.m. Retweet
Ulty players that tell you they hate GOALTY really mean to tell you "MY ONLY ULTIMATE SKILL IS RUNNING FAR AWAY IN A STRAIGHT LINE."
@burnsideulti   Wednesday September 2nd, 2015, 2:33 a.m. Retweet
@burnsideulti It's like that old saying "when every problem is too many nails, the solution is a hammer" I also love push passes.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday September 2nd, 2015, 1:52 a.m. Retweet
RT @KattsDogma: What idiot calls them 'seamen' and not 'fuckbuoys?'
@burnsideulti   Tuesday September 1st, 2015, 11:45 p.m. Retweet
Needs a hoop set up in those bushes. Goaltimate season. http://t.co/Yk03h6qtgW
@burnsideulti   Tuesday September 1st, 2015, 1:46 p.m. Retweet
What's the most important throw in goaltimate that is totally unnecessary in ultimate? My vote is the forehand.
@burnsideulti   Monday August 31st, 2015, 8:11 p.m. Retweet
Can't help but think of one thing.... Gojira v MechaGojira v Ghidorah v Mothra playing Goaltimate. http://t.co/fWIBLgOO4D
@burnsideulti   Monday August 31st, 2015, 6:37 p.m. Retweet
Imagine if the best o the best played a winner take all final tournament? A true World Champion of Ultimate. Should I try and set this up?
@burnsideulti   Monday August 31st, 2015, 6:28 p.m. Retweet
There should be some sort of setup to allow each sectional Champ to play the other adjacent Champs.
@burnsideulti   Monday August 31st, 2015, 4:25 p.m. Retweet
Congratulations to all the teams who became Champions this weekend. Now that the #tct2015 is over, IT'S GOALTY SEASON!
@burnsideulti   Monday August 31st, 2015, 1:34 p.m. Retweet
Ask your farrier what are the best kind of metal cleats for your game. Assuming of course you're a talking horse. #fourulty
@burnsideulti   Monday August 31st, 2015, 1:51 a.m. Retweet
Sometimes the only thing that keeps me going day to day is waiting on the new USDA maple syrup grading system they will unveil in 2017.
@burnsideulti   Sunday August 30th, 2015, 4:45 p.m. Retweet
When you clearly landed out but reenact your catch in a new location when you are arguing that you landed in bounds. https://t.co/6CXDQbV1Ir
@burnsideulti   Sunday August 30th, 2015, 2:30 p.m. Retweet
It's Sectionals Selection Sunday out there! Good luck to all the teams, I hope no one loses and you all advance to regionals.
@burnsideulti   Sunday August 30th, 2015, 2:25 p.m. Retweet
RT @Michael1979: Attn: Hairdressers I need a haircut. Meet me in this field on Monday at 10.54am with your hairdressing equipment. http:/…
@burnsideulti   Saturday August 29th, 2015, 8:11 p.m. Retweet
EARTH without "_ H" is just FART
@burnsideulti   Saturday August 29th, 2015, 5:10 p.m. Retweet
Guess who loves watermelon? That's right, it's Ron. https://t.co/mmLzhYPGN0
@burnsideulti   Saturday August 29th, 2015, 4:38 p.m. Retweet
Big question for Oregon Sectionals today: Can anyone stop at Woodburn Mall on the way back & pick me up a lid for a 12" Chefmate saucepan?
@burnsideulti   Saturday August 29th, 2015, 1:26 p.m. Retweet
[principal at Apiary School] I'm ashamed of all your final grades. Every one of you got A's & C's. Not one of you could get straight B's.
@burnsideulti   Saturday August 29th, 2015, 1:17 p.m. Retweet
Let's unmask the Silver Specter It's Phil Spector! The old man who told us to stay away from the control booth! https://t.co/KQ1SgaY8Lu
@burnsideulti   Saturday August 29th, 2015, 3:48 a.m. Retweet
What 2014 nationals qualifying team is most likely to not advance to regionals? @admitators ? Nemesis ? Tabby rosa ? Temper ?
@burnsideulti   Saturday August 29th, 2015, 3:02 a.m. Retweet
I'm practicing writing Public Enemy album titles: ART OF FISH (ALL IN SELMA) NATION INN (DESCENT PRO) POSE ALL
@burnsideulti   Friday August 28th, 2015, 4:44 p.m. Retweet
ZIPTIPS 2K15: Clean muddy cleats in the dishwasher with a 1/2 cup of vinegar, run on heavy cycle. Throw out ruined cleats and buy new ones.
@burnsideulti   Friday August 28th, 2015, 12:50 p.m. Retweet
One sign of maturity is when you stop holding it in before going to work, to you make sure you get paid while you poop.
@burnsideulti   Friday August 28th, 2015, 3:57 a.m. Retweet
RT @rad_milk: find YOUR frolf team captain name!!! be mindful this is not YOUR name but the captain's name. you are not the captain http://…
@burnsideulti   Friday August 28th, 2015, 2:12 a.m. Retweet
RT @chunklet: With all the fucked up things I've done, at least I haven't had a goatee.
@burnsideulti   Thursday August 27th, 2015, 10:52 p.m. Retweet
Just checked joe seidlers ultimate history website and this is the first time in seven years that BURNSIDE hasn't played open sectionals.
@burnsideulti   Thursday August 27th, 2015, 7:20 p.m. Retweet
Not every team is in the hunt for a champy. Just remember that most teams are treating this weekend like their Sectionals.
@burnsideulti   Thursday August 27th, 2015, 1:23 p.m. Retweet
If the @detroitmechanix played the @USAUltimate series, could they qualify for regionals? What if they got to play in the Alaska section?
@burnsideulti   Thursday August 27th, 2015, 3:46 a.m. Retweet
Vestigial "e" or not, whisky is delicious.
@burnsideulti   Thursday August 27th, 2015, 2:24 a.m. Retweet
.@DangeRussWilson My gramma hasn't had a concussion either. #nannabubbles http://t.co/qrCAxcGQft
@burnsideulti   Thursday August 27th, 2015, 2:04 a.m. Retweet
RT @ripcityhamilton: I can remember Sheed telling us , Y'all can go do the cover but I'm not. Soooo Sheed that's why I… https://t.co/1jEKG…
@burnsideulti   Wednesday August 26th, 2015, 9:49 p.m. Retweet
@burnsideulti This is still true four days later. Dusty is a dope.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday August 26th, 2015, 6:15 p.m. Retweet
I prefer the football method, where its one game a week and you smash your opponent in the head until you both get brain damage.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday August 26th, 2015, 6:14 p.m. Retweet
Golf tourneys are full weekend long wars of attrition for upper class white people where the people who didn't win were probably drunk.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday August 26th, 2015, 5:19 p.m. Retweet
That other dude needs some sun. He's super pale. https://t.co/41GL5OAHKs
@burnsideulti   Wednesday August 26th, 2015, 2:59 p.m. Retweet
Questions to Ponder: Should ulty tourneys be modeled more after football games or golf tournaments?
@burnsideulti   Tuesday August 25th, 2015, 7:07 p.m. Retweet
You guys haven't asked but my new job is going swell. http://t.co/sB2zEOlv2J
@burnsideulti   Tuesday August 25th, 2015, 3:04 p.m. Retweet
Took the nonbunny route today and I'm regretting it even though it's ten minutes faster.
@burnsideulti   Tuesday August 25th, 2015, 2:32 p.m. Retweet
I have 2 ways to get to work, 1 is on the highway, 1 has a pretty good chance of letting me see wild baby bunnies frolicking in a field.
@burnsideulti   Monday August 24th, 2015, 9:35 p.m. Retweet
@FiveUltimateLLC Wow never seen that. Pretty cool even if it had negative stereotypes!
@burnsideulti   Monday August 24th, 2015, 9:13 p.m. Retweet
Judgement Night had a huge effect on me. Seeing a group of guys get together with teamwork like that made me want to play team sports.
@burnsideulti   Monday August 24th, 2015, 8:59 p.m. Retweet
When people ask why I got into ultimate, I have to laugh bc it's entirely from watching that Jeremy Piven movie.
@burnsideulti   Monday August 24th, 2015, 3:25 p.m. Retweet
@burnsideulti That doesn't sound right either. Jokes are harder than they look.
@burnsideulti   Monday August 24th, 2015, 3:24 p.m. Retweet
@burnsideulti I might have done that wrong. What's the best thing about dating nineteen year olds? There's nine of them.
@burnsideulti   Monday August 24th, 2015, 3:24 p.m. Retweet
JOKE TIME! What's the best thing about dating twenty year olds? They are twenty.
@burnsideulti   Monday August 24th, 2015, 1:39 p.m. Retweet
@burnsideulti She plays ultimate, but I don't know if she's on Twitter, please don't tell her I said this.
@burnsideulti   Monday August 24th, 2015, 1:38 p.m. Retweet
I once dated a girl who used weird amounts of cream cheese on bagels. Can't remember if it was a lot or a little, but it was weird.
@burnsideulti   Sunday August 23rd, 2015, 8:06 p.m. Retweet
Why I love Twitter on tournament weekends: http://t.co/mx5T4o5UB0
@burnsideulti   Saturday August 22nd, 2015, 11:40 p.m. Retweet
RT @Karate_Horse: I feel bad for lefties not being able to get into heaven or vote or any of the same things us normies take for granted
@burnsideulti   Saturday August 22nd, 2015, 10:29 p.m. Retweet
I've unfollowed people on facebook for longer than I was friends with them in the first place.
@burnsideulti   Saturday August 22nd, 2015, 9:02 p.m. Retweet
RT @i_eat_fruit: me [trying to bond w male coworkers]: do u guys want to come over and play sports at my house after work
@burnsideulti   Saturday August 22nd, 2015, 7:14 p.m. Retweet
RT @senderblock23: Please try your best to not have a man bun
@burnsideulti   Saturday August 22nd, 2015, 5:49 p.m. Retweet
Ultimate is a lot like your iPod shuffle. You can drop a disk & you can also ask yourself "Do I really own a Badfinger album?"
@burnsideulti   Saturday August 22nd, 2015, 5:02 p.m. Retweet
My mom always used to say "There are two kinds of people: CHEMICAL BROTHERS or DAFT PUNK What are you?" I'd always cry bc I'm a Ladytron.
@burnsideulti   Saturday August 22nd, 2015, 4:26 p.m. Retweet
How old is the wind? Think it wants to play masters next year? https://t.co/WnUHNnmZby
@burnsideulti   Saturday August 22nd, 2015, 1:44 p.m. Retweet
Peter gammon-pearl jam John Clayton-Motörhead Dusty Rhodes-311 Ultimate won't be taken seriously until our columnists like better music
@burnsideulti   Friday August 21st, 2015, 3:27 a.m. Retweet
RT @rad_milk: the thing about sports is you just gotta go out there and play ball. some people might get pissed about this but hey i dont m…
@burnsideulti   Friday August 21st, 2015, 3:25 a.m. Retweet
RT @duck_in_pants: some pairs of pants are more aerodynamic than others, but u have to sacrifice the pocket space where u could store bread…
@burnsideulti   Thursday August 20th, 2015, 10:05 p.m. Retweet
There's some troubling sexual dynamics in the movie Overboard and if I ever meet Kurt Russell don't think I won't ask him about them.
@burnsideulti   Thursday August 20th, 2015, 4:44 p.m. Retweet
"EMOJI" is an abbreviated portmanteau of EMOTIONAL JIHAD. Think of that next time you try to destroy America with a smiley face.
@burnsideulti   Thursday August 20th, 2015, 3:41 a.m. Retweet
"Bad news bears theme" is my favorite piece of classical music.
@burnsideulti   Thursday August 20th, 2015, 3:01 a.m. Retweet
RT @PaperWash: [wins super bowl] I'd like to thank god God: I didn't help without him I wouldn't be here God: I literally hate sports
@burnsideulti   Wednesday August 19th, 2015, 10:47 p.m. Retweet
I ended up super busy these last few months and I forgot to find out what's the summer jam this year?
@burnsideulti   Wednesday August 19th, 2015, 10:02 p.m. Retweet
What pro athletes would be the worst ultimate player? Peyton Manning Jon Daly Dale Earnhardt The starting D line for the @detroitmechanix
@burnsideulti   Wednesday August 19th, 2015, 8:54 p.m. Retweet
Throwing farther isn't always about throwing harder, it can be about throwing better instead. #fourulty
@burnsideulti   Wednesday August 19th, 2015, 5:08 p.m. Retweet
Do they call it 'mixed "sectionals"', because it's the first time all year most of the players are getting off the couch? #fourulty
@burnsideulti   Wednesday August 19th, 2015, 3:42 p.m. Retweet
RT @HumanPog: just had to lay down the law to my coworker the next time i get hit with that frisbee its going to be MY fribsee
@burnsideulti   Wednesday August 19th, 2015, 2:49 p.m. Retweet
If you're looking for the kind of knowledge that only comes after playing ultimate more than twice, reddit is the place to ask. #fourulty
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