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@burnsideulti

@burnsideulti is the Twitter account for Burnside (USAU Club Masters 2012)

Games involving @burnsideulti
Time Team Result Team Tweets
October 27th, 2012 Burnside 0 - 0 Tejas 2 tweets
October 26th, 2012 Burnside 15 - 8 Crawl 3 tweets
October 26th, 2012 Burnside 8 - 15 Surly 2 tweets
October 25th, 2012 Burnside 15 - 10 Chesapeaked 2 tweets
Most recent tweets
@burnsideulti   Tuesday December 15th, 2015, 2:56 a.m. Retweet
I'm not friends with any burglars tho. I'm not friends with much of anyone actually. https://t.co/7JAy3HMTvb
@burnsideulti   Monday December 14th, 2015, 10:36 p.m. Retweet
Noah's Goaltimate arc had room for four of each animal.
@burnsideulti   Monday December 14th, 2015, 6:28 p.m. Retweet
I changed my deodorant, and it's freaking me out. It's like some guy I don't know is constantly hanging out right behind me.
@burnsideulti   Monday December 14th, 2015, 3:27 p.m. Retweet
When you step in the Goaltimate field, there's only one question: Are you a CANaloupe or a CANTaloupe?
@burnsideulti   Monday December 14th, 2015, 12:06 a.m. Retweet
The only thing that stinks about goalty is there's no opportunity to do 1st down celebrations.
@burnsideulti   Saturday December 12th, 2015, 4:06 p.m. Retweet
Let me play devil's advocate here and posit the question: WHAT IF GOALTIMATE ISN'T ACTUALLY THE BEST SPORT IN THE WORLD?!?!???
@burnsideulti   Friday December 11th, 2015, 4:34 p.m. Retweet
goaltimate last night was more like oldtimate.
@burnsideulti   Thursday December 10th, 2015, 3:00 a.m. Retweet
RT @souljaboy: People will say you can't do it then when you do they act like they supported you when they know they didn't.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday December 9th, 2015, 3:17 a.m. Retweet
I think it's a shame that with the new conferences they instituted at our pickup goalty games, light only plays dark 372 times this season.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday December 9th, 2015, 3:02 a.m. Retweet
RT @Karate_Horse: You know that part in the bible where the St. Bernard knocks over the tables no I'm not talking about Beethoven I'm talki…
@burnsideulti   Monday December 7th, 2015, 10:31 p.m. Retweet
After the last few weeks of pickup, I don't think ANY team wants to meet the team or the dark team in the playoffs.
@burnsideulti   Saturday December 5th, 2015, 10:06 p.m. Retweet
@burnsideulti I'm pretty much the LeBron James of goaltimate.
@burnsideulti   Saturday December 5th, 2015, 10:05 p.m. Retweet
@burnsideulti It's been 13 minutes and no one has pointed out the similarities between me and LeBron.
@burnsideulti   Saturday December 5th, 2015, 9:51 p.m. Retweet
Finally got to make it back to my home field, Cleveland High, for goalty this afternoon. It had been too long! Felt great to be back.
@burnsideulti   Friday December 4th, 2015, 4:46 p.m. Retweet
No matter what your feelings on #STP's "legacy" or "legitimacy", I feel they were instrumental in 3 or 4 of Richard Petty's #NASCAR wins.
@burnsideulti   Friday December 4th, 2015, 5:25 a.m. Retweet
After tonight's pickup game, it looks like dark has drawn up the blueprint on how to beat light for the rest of time.
@burnsideulti   Friday December 4th, 2015, 3:23 a.m. Retweet
2cold 2wet 2windy Still it's perfect weather 4 pickup goalty under the lights. Wouldn't miss it for anything!
@burnsideulti   Thursday December 3rd, 2015, 10:20 p.m. Retweet
@burnsideulti Goaltimate tm: This ain't your aunt's version of disc sports!
@burnsideulti   Thursday December 3rd, 2015, 9:52 p.m. Retweet
Only 237 people over the age of 35 play Goaltimate.
@burnsideulti   Thursday December 3rd, 2015, 6:13 p.m. Retweet
@FiveUltimateLLC I got lucky, "Goaltimate Season" is just my nickname. My parents actually named me "Qkoultimate Zveason"
@burnsideulti   Thursday December 3rd, 2015, 2:45 p.m. Retweet
Anyone know if this shirt of mine is real or a replica? https://t.co/bUKVXgxzJM
@burnsideulti   Thursday December 3rd, 2015, 3:17 a.m. Retweet
Drinkin a beer, microwavin up a quesadilla, draftin up GOALTY plays. Pretty much the dream Wednesday night. #TrulyBlessed
@burnsideulti   Wednesday December 2nd, 2015, 5:19 a.m. Retweet
Are Mark Cuban and Michael Jordan the only former players who now own #nba teams? https://t.co/Qmi4FIDz1C
@burnsideulti   Wednesday December 2nd, 2015, 2:06 a.m. Retweet
I'm old enough to remember an era when school kids didn't get time off for the Goaltimate holiday season.
@burnsideulti   Tuesday December 1st, 2015, 6:30 p.m. Retweet
I'm ashamed of Carleton ultimate. How tone def can they be? https://t.co/ClcgZvfE1T
@burnsideulti   Saturday November 28th, 2015, 10:36 p.m. Retweet
@FiveUltimateLLC Did you try turning it off, then turning it back on again?
@burnsideulti   Saturday November 28th, 2015, 5:31 p.m. Retweet
Pocahontas taught the white savages the true meaning of Goaltimate at the first thanksgiving. https://t.co/2jY6ZxW8Un
@burnsideulti   Friday November 27th, 2015, 8:01 p.m. Retweet
Carpe Carp. Play Goaltimate. Seize the Fish. https://t.co/SUEeDXbXRB
@burnsideulti   Friday November 27th, 2015, 2:14 a.m. Retweet
I'm thankful for Goaltimate. God bless us everyone.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday November 25th, 2015, 4:28 p.m. Retweet
.@USAUltimate , can we get Sheed into Observer training? He's a natural. https://t.co/v6In4dVxD2
@burnsideulti   Wednesday November 25th, 2015, 3:44 a.m. Retweet
Ultimate is the Boo Ya Tribe of Goaltimate.
@burnsideulti   Tuesday November 24th, 2015, 2:05 a.m. Retweet
Make a "Monday Night Footballs" out of your next weekend by playing some Goaltimate.
@burnsideulti   Monday November 23rd, 2015, 6:55 p.m. Retweet
RT @TheOnion: BREAKING: Sprinting College Student Might Actually Have Chance At Getting Frisbee https://t.co/OIfJj6t2Go https://t.co/IowhNd…
@burnsideulti   Sunday November 22nd, 2015, 11:55 p.m. Retweet
Disaster today at goalty pickup. It's like nobody even read my email about playing red versus yellow to celebrate autumn.
@burnsideulti   Sunday November 22nd, 2015, 3:41 p.m. Retweet
Portland parks & rec are jerks. They tore down my artisanal goalty set just because it was an "unpermitted nuisance" https://t.co/EMO5faXPaE
@burnsideulti   Saturday November 21st, 2015, 4:03 p.m. Retweet
RT @OFalafel: How to make your own realistic talking Donald Trump puppet https://t.co/7s8BytzLam
@burnsideulti   Friday November 20th, 2015, 5:14 a.m. Retweet
If anyone knows a British person can you ask them if they spell the word "Dr." as "DOCTOUR"? Brits are weird.
@burnsideulti   Thursday November 19th, 2015, 11:43 p.m. Retweet
RT @bea_ker: My chosen industry is really competitive, I haven't even been invited to interview yet (I want to be in A Tribe Called Quest)
@burnsideulti   Wednesday November 18th, 2015, 11:03 p.m. Retweet
RT @pixelatedboat: Typical left-wing bias from the BBC https://t.co/edlbhIL2R1
@burnsideulti   Tuesday November 17th, 2015, 9:49 p.m. Retweet
I can't be the only one who based his entire athletic career on the memory of when Malibu got KOd on the 1st episode of American gladiators.
@burnsideulti   Tuesday November 17th, 2015, 9:30 p.m. Retweet
Fiber One is the perfect snack to eat in between goalty points! Try it today. #sponsormei'mbroke https://t.co/uxPmacMdZy
@burnsideulti   Sunday November 15th, 2015, 4:30 p.m. Retweet
QUIT RUINING THE FIELDS WD40! WE NEED TO KEEP A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH THE PARKS DEPARTMENT! https://t.co/DEKPaHYq5f
@burnsideulti   Sunday November 15th, 2015, 4:10 p.m. Retweet
If you got to know your favorite #NFL star, you'd probably hate him. But you already know and love your favorite Goaltimate star.
@burnsideulti   Friday November 13th, 2015, 4:02 a.m. Retweet
@burnsideulti Now I know how Chris Penn felt in Footloose.
@burnsideulti   Friday November 13th, 2015, 4:01 a.m. Retweet
2nite the PDX ultimate board head honchos are working on a plan to shut Goaltimate down for the rest of the winter! Insane?!?!?
@burnsideulti   Wednesday November 11th, 2015, 6:55 p.m. Retweet
NOBODY BETTER BOO AZIZ. IT WASN'T HIS FAULT PARKS AND REC GOT CANCELLED. https://t.co/m9nTnXVheK
@burnsideulti   Tuesday November 10th, 2015, 9:48 p.m. Retweet
There's probably a better sports kit you could make out of pvc but I can't think of it right now...... https://t.co/cCokNIljyH
@burnsideulti   Tuesday November 10th, 2015, 8:52 p.m. Retweet
I could rewrite that article in four words: TRUST FALLS-ROPES COURSE https://t.co/qFTMW7lgky
@burnsideulti   Tuesday November 10th, 2015, 6:00 p.m. Retweet
I detest people that think watches are ok to wear during sports. I want them removed from the earth. https://t.co/yIBrPXAVxR
@burnsideulti   Tuesday November 10th, 2015, 1:23 a.m. Retweet
Just like the mlu is almost as good as the audl, gamer grip is almost as good as friction gloves! did I win? https://t.co/AVkdVLUL3W
@burnsideulti   Monday November 9th, 2015, 6:06 p.m. Retweet
RT @punchesbears: Be assured, there will be bears. #gamedev #indiedev #madewithunity #unity3d https://t.co/C68JF7aM4p
@burnsideulti   Sunday November 8th, 2015, 2:12 p.m. Retweet
No matter who's on the teams, Goaltimate is the real MVP.
@burnsideulti   Sunday November 8th, 2015, 4:02 a.m. Retweet
RT @DaveBautista: The day a WWE cameraman doesn't know your name and addresses you as Mr Cool Strong Dude is the day you realize your caree…
@burnsideulti   Friday November 6th, 2015, 4:36 p.m. Retweet
Jesus told Noah to build an "arch", not an "arc". Noah had bad hearing. https://t.co/M4wUXzLqs6
@burnsideulti   Friday November 6th, 2015, 2:33 p.m. Retweet
RT @yimmaesil: 억ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ https://t.co/eoCGe8iF8L
@burnsideulti   Thursday November 5th, 2015, 6:47 p.m. Retweet
If LaMarcus shows up at our goalty game this wknd how should we treat him? Boos, hugs & daps, indifference, call travel on every throw?
@burnsideulti   Wednesday November 4th, 2015, 3:13 a.m. Retweet
If you can't handle with me at my worst, you *might* be able to handle with me at my best. My cuts are slow, & I hold the disc too long.
@burnsideulti   Tuesday November 3rd, 2015, 9:12 p.m. Retweet
Travel. Or foul. Some sort of violation I think. https://t.co/8TzB1HXLSW
@burnsideulti   Tuesday November 3rd, 2015, 7:28 p.m. Retweet
Scientists estimate that Goalti-bots still won't be able to beat living players until at least 2030. I guess they've never seen Ron play.
@burnsideulti   Tuesday November 3rd, 2015, 6:58 p.m. Retweet
Scientists estimate that Goaltibots still won't be able to beat living players until at least 2030. I guess they've never seen Ron play.
@burnsideulti   Tuesday November 3rd, 2015, 2:32 p.m. Retweet
Twice a year, American workers lose 45 minutes of productivity trying to reset their car clocks because of daylight savings.
@burnsideulti   Tuesday November 3rd, 2015, 1:08 a.m. Retweet
He shoulda pulled up for the fadeaway. Guy could get hurt down in the paint if he's not careful. https://t.co/Q7hozm8j6T
@burnsideulti   Tuesday November 3rd, 2015, 1:07 a.m. Retweet
America's best inventions have been: the computer, surf rock, the bible, and Goaltimate. In no particular order.
@burnsideulti   Monday November 2nd, 2015, 3:10 p.m. Retweet
I can't believe @Target already has Cinco de Mayo decorations up.
@burnsideulti   Sunday November 1st, 2015, 9:49 p.m. Retweet
RT @HPbasketball: Tim Duncan is a monster defensively, at age 700. Seriously, I still firmly believe Duncan is a better player than LMA r…
@burnsideulti   Sunday November 1st, 2015, 9:48 p.m. Retweet
I know a guy that named his daughter "Anakin". So it takes all kinds... https://t.co/Hf2Ggn8XDk
@burnsideulti   Sunday November 1st, 2015, 5:34 p.m. Retweet
What are you going to be for Halloween next year?
@burnsideulti   Sunday November 1st, 2015, 5:31 p.m. Retweet
What are you going to be Halloween next year?
@burnsideulti   Sunday November 1st, 2015, 2:14 p.m. Retweet
Set your clocks back an hour for DST. Set your life back decades by not playing Goaltimate.
@burnsideulti   Saturday October 31st, 2015, 8:21 p.m. Retweet
A great basketball team on offense is like jazz, a great goaltimate team in a zone defense is like a queensryche power ballad.
@burnsideulti   Saturday October 31st, 2015, 6:18 p.m. Retweet
We wish he had been an actual vampire instead of a shuffling mummy. https://t.co/BYrfwraQ5H
@burnsideulti   Saturday October 31st, 2015, 4:22 p.m. Retweet
I zone out to Genesis on my @beatsbydre b4 goalty games, bc when I pull on my @FrictionGloves I can pretend I'm Phil Collins.
@burnsideulti   Saturday October 31st, 2015, 2:24 p.m. Retweet
Getting to play Goaltimate is a once in a lifetime experience, that's why I make sure I play at least three times a week.
@burnsideulti   Friday October 30th, 2015, 4:12 p.m. Retweet
I know how the @dallasmavs feel. Free agency hit my goalty team hard this week. After 3 points, Ron switched his pinnie from lite to dark.
@burnsideulti   Friday October 30th, 2015, 3:29 a.m. Retweet
RT @ImSoFrancis: If you're walking toward me and you see me pull out my phone and look down, that means I saw you too
@burnsideulti   Thursday October 29th, 2015, 5:52 p.m. Retweet
95% of goaltimate games are full of gritty, gym rat, high ceiling/low floor guys with deceptive speed and amazing work ethics.
@burnsideulti   Thursday October 29th, 2015, 4:57 p.m. Retweet
RT @CwoodsonF: 18yrs in the NFL, 39yrs old, defensive player of the month.. I couldn't have dreamt it up any better..... https://t.co/URMpW…
@burnsideulti   Thursday October 29th, 2015, 1:20 p.m. Retweet
The ancient Mesopotamians worshipped Goaltimate as their God of fertility.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday October 28th, 2015, 3:44 a.m. Retweet
RT @GlazerBooHooHoo: Tombstone of two of the best breakdancers http://t.co/i1riSYFsOo
@burnsideulti   Wednesday October 28th, 2015, 2:46 a.m. Retweet
RT @AnemoneOh: Number of Gen X, Y, and Millenials needed to support one Boomer in the style to which he's become accustomed. https://t.co/i…
@burnsideulti   Monday October 26th, 2015, 7:28 p.m. Retweet
whatever you do, don't google image search "Tokyo Sex-whale".
@burnsideulti   Monday October 26th, 2015, 7:16 p.m. Retweet
Hardy was such a mean spirited person, that he forever ruined the toothbrush mustache so no one grows one anymore. https://t.co/DwHSHZHFoj
@burnsideulti   Monday October 26th, 2015, 7:00 p.m. Retweet
What Goaltimate teams around the country have coaches? I'm just asking because Ron always tells me what to do.
@burnsideulti   Monday October 26th, 2015, 1:26 p.m. Retweet
It's very rare for band members to have the same name. Mike Mills & Mike Stipe from REM, & the Allman Brothers are the only ones I know of.
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