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@burnsideulti

@burnsideulti is the Twitter account for Burnside (USAU Club Masters 2012)

Games involving @burnsideulti
Time Team Result Team Tweets
October 27th, 2012 Burnside 0 - 0 Tejas 2 tweets
October 26th, 2012 Burnside 15 - 8 Crawl 3 tweets
October 26th, 2012 Burnside 8 - 15 Surly 2 tweets
October 25th, 2012 Burnside 15 - 10 Chesapeaked 2 tweets
Most recent tweets
@burnsideulti   Friday May 1st, 2015, 5:28 p.m. Retweet
Masters eligible means pop culture vegetable. https://t.co/HAIYZCJel9
@burnsideulti   Friday May 1st, 2015, 4:28 p.m. Retweet
Map of where everyone ate last burrito before attending tryouts. Thanks for the data mining guys. #burnsidetryouttips http://t.co/hrvOkVc1sk
@burnsideulti   Friday May 1st, 2015, 1:08 a.m. Retweet
The best thing about masters is no one has upside, a high motor, or intangibles. We're 90% white, so there are gritty gym rats though.
@burnsideulti   Thursday April 30th, 2015, 8:01 p.m. Retweet
There's Ultimate, Twitter, and Coca Cola all across the world, but the NFL is only in America. Kind of makes you realize what's important.
@burnsideulti   Thursday April 30th, 2015, 5:42 p.m. Retweet
@burnsideulti Steve Young + Jerry Rice = Steve Rice I know a Steve Rice that plays ultimate. Theory is now fact.
@burnsideulti   Thursday April 30th, 2015, 5:37 p.m. Retweet
Ultimate is the best sport bc everyone gets to be a QB and WR and CB. And the best players in the world are still slower than college LGs.
@burnsideulti   Thursday April 30th, 2015, 5:30 p.m. Retweet
I think my coworker said it worst when she described ultimate as: "Oh yeah, that sport's hard. I can never get the Frisbee in the basket."
@burnsideulti   Thursday April 30th, 2015, 3:59 p.m. Retweet
Only 8 hours left until Marcus Mariota gets his career ended by being drafted by the Titans or Browns.
@burnsideulti   Thursday April 30th, 2015, 3:59 a.m. Retweet
Could the best college team in the country beat the worst #NBA team? Could Lillard defend the best middle school player in the country?
@burnsideulti   Wednesday April 29th, 2015, 2:08 a.m. Retweet
Us v them Good v evil Lite v dark Shirt v skin Hemingway short stories v Fitzgerald novellas #burnsidetryouttips
@burnsideulti   Tuesday April 28th, 2015, 10:43 p.m. Retweet
What sport is ultimate most like? Baseball. Come into tryouts like a rotation ace, not a platoon right fielder. #burnsidetryouttips
@burnsideulti   Tuesday April 28th, 2015, 9:01 p.m. Retweet
Frequency of items popping up in my feed today: 1-Baltimore Protests 2-Tulane disqualification 3-Miles Leonard . . . 284-Nepal
@burnsideulti   Tuesday April 28th, 2015, 4:41 a.m. Retweet
Dad in the Fred Meyer commercial tosses a lefty backhand, which is dumb cause the mark was playing way off.
@burnsideulti   Monday April 27th, 2015, 5:10 p.m. Retweet
Why is the "?" the secondary keyboard option of "/"? I use ?s way more often, as do all other god fearing people who type with punctuation.
@burnsideulti   Monday April 27th, 2015, 3:47 p.m. Retweet
Just got our team utilikilts back from the printer, and the damn pleats were too small to fit 2" #s on them. Back to the drawing board.
@burnsideulti   Monday April 27th, 2015, 3:47 p.m. Retweet
@FiveUltimateLLC @breakmarkulti @vcultimate @SAVAGEultimate We will accept sponsorship from the 1st Co. that makes a quality utilikilt.
@burnsideulti   Monday April 27th, 2015, 4:11 a.m. Retweet
Want to feel old? Due to inflation, everything in ROBOCOP that the one guy would "buy for dollar" now costs $2.73.
@burnsideulti   Saturday April 25th, 2015, 9:45 p.m. Retweet
FYI the captains can't make it to tryouts today, so you guys are on your own to report in if you stunk up the joint. #burnsidetryouttips
@burnsideulti   Friday April 24th, 2015, 6:25 p.m. Retweet
Q: What do other teams do when the guys @ tryouts aren't even 3x as good as the captains? why do I even have this job? #burnsidetryouttips
@burnsideulti   Friday April 24th, 2015, 3:56 p.m. Retweet
RT @MisterBaseball5: Were it not for Babe Ruth's revolutionary slugging career, baseball would likely be relegated to the sewer status of f…
@burnsideulti   Thursday April 23rd, 2015, 4:12 p.m. Retweet
tfw you have to do lower yourself to do research on urbandictionary to find out what the hell some new social media acronyms actually mean.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday April 22nd, 2015, 10:20 p.m. Retweet
FOR SALE: BABY SHOES. NEVER WORN is a sad 6 word short story by Hemingway. FOR SALE: WORN BABY is way shorter though, and still pretty sad.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday April 22nd, 2015, 5:07 p.m. Retweet
.@sludgebrown What do you think of the new MLU uniforms? Not bad for a company that previously was famous only for their tuxedoes.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday April 22nd, 2015, 2:04 a.m. Retweet
Wizards are proving for once and for all that @souljaboy is better than Drake. #wizardsvsraptors
@burnsideulti   Tuesday April 21st, 2015, 10:34 p.m. Retweet
.@bader_diedrich Cool to see you on twitter. Real big fan. I loved your work in that fish out of h2o movie from way back.
@burnsideulti   Tuesday April 21st, 2015, 8:31 p.m. Retweet
Even though he's super old, I'm certain Mike Tyson could beat me in a fight right now. And that is a testament to how amazing he used to be
@burnsideulti   Tuesday April 21st, 2015, 3:48 p.m. Retweet
April 20th is notorious for being a gateway date to April 21st.
@burnsideulti   Monday April 20th, 2015, 8:05 p.m. Retweet
Remember before you smoke up at tryouts, nobody ever "420-d" their way onto a good team. Well, maybe Peter did. #burnsidetryouttips
@burnsideulti   Sunday April 19th, 2015, 10:22 p.m. Retweet
The greatest trick the devil ever performed was convincing the world that Elmo was more important than Grover.
@burnsideulti   Saturday April 18th, 2015, 5:26 a.m. Retweet
Do you ever see real old homeless guys with fantastic thick hair and accidentally think to yourself how lucky they are?
@burnsideulti   Thursday April 16th, 2015, 8:17 p.m. Retweet
One thing that is certain after seeing the new Star Wars trailer: John Boyega's character has Asthma.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday April 15th, 2015, 10:08 p.m. Retweet
@FiveUltimateLLC @CoachJim4UM @magnUMultimate Magnum should be khanfident it will happen, but not khaki.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday April 15th, 2015, 4:18 p.m. Retweet
Hernandez Trial thoughts, and how it relates to self officiating in ultimate. https://t.co/0ldzdRztzj
@burnsideulti   Wednesday April 15th, 2015, 2:25 a.m. Retweet
RT @PDX_Ultimate: I'm behind but Maroon just took @dannyquarrell #PDXSL2015
@burnsideulti   Wednesday April 15th, 2015, 2:24 a.m. Retweet
RT @PDX_Ultimate: 12 RoyalBlue1 Jose Perdido #PDXSL2015
@burnsideulti   Wednesday April 15th, 2015, 2:24 a.m. Retweet
RT @PDX_Ultimate: 14 purple Mike Baysinger #PDXSL2015
@burnsideulti   Tuesday April 14th, 2015, 7:10 p.m. Retweet
Don't bother bringing cleats if you bike to tryouts, there's *always* another guy that brings an extra pair of size 10s. #burnsidetryouttips
@burnsideulti   Tuesday April 14th, 2015, 5:42 p.m. Retweet
Wait until after tryouts to vape. Don't do it in between drills even though it's totally harmless 2nd hand smoke. #burnsidetryouttips
@burnsideulti   Monday April 13th, 2015, 4:17 p.m. Retweet
If you told me two years ago some sketchy old white lady would be running for president in 2016, I'd be like "Yes! I love Martha Stewart!"
@burnsideulti   Monday April 13th, 2015, 2:32 p.m. Retweet
Golf is dumb, but it's also grandmasters and Womens masters week. https://t.co/asDMvKpvID
@burnsideulti   Monday April 13th, 2015, 2:57 a.m. Retweet
Want to feel old? All the bands you liked in high school haven't put out a decent album since before you were in grade school.
@burnsideulti   Monday April 13th, 2015, 1:59 a.m. Retweet
.@nike How awesome do you think Bo Jackson would have been if had access to modern cleat technology? Pretty awesome I bet.
@burnsideulti   Sunday April 12th, 2015, 1:28 a.m. Retweet
Every time someone asks "what's the big deal with X", the answer is usually "libertarians" or "bamboo".
@burnsideulti   Saturday April 11th, 2015, 4:03 a.m. Retweet
[wife enters "I hate my husband" into @pandora_radio ] Next 3 hours = Pink Floyd, Supertramp, and U2.
@burnsideulti   Friday April 10th, 2015, 8:11 p.m. Retweet
If you don't have a good forehand, impress the coaches by telling them you call it "sidearm" instead. #burnsidetryouttips
@burnsideulti   Friday April 10th, 2015, 8:08 p.m. Retweet
If you're looking to join a masters team, one important thing to do at tryouts is be over 33. #burnsidetryouttips
@burnsideulti   Thursday April 9th, 2015, 10:28 p.m. Retweet
RT @jon_bois: a couple years ago i explained the master’s tournament. there’s an apostrophe in it. it’s the master’s tournament http://t.co…
@burnsideulti   Thursday April 9th, 2015, 10:27 p.m. Retweet
@burnsideulti *medicinal marijuana dispensary *tattoo shop *IPA brewery *acupuncture studio
@burnsideulti   Thursday April 9th, 2015, 10:26 p.m. Retweet
Statement I could say 30x a day in PDX. " Hey, that storefront that's been abandoned the past 4 years is now a * "
@burnsideulti   Tuesday April 7th, 2015, 5:23 p.m. Retweet
@gwenambler @FlatballRadio That's an awesome lineup. Every one is a winner!
@burnsideulti   Tuesday April 7th, 2015, 5:23 p.m. Retweet
I'm back after technical difficulties. What did I miss the last three weeks?
@burnsideulti   Thursday March 19th, 2015, 2:54 a.m. Retweet
RT @JessFink: We played a role playing game called Inspectors tonight and my character was Maximum Delinquency, CFO and captain of the Fris…
@burnsideulti   Wednesday March 18th, 2015, 11:45 p.m. Retweet
it's been over three minutes since I last thought about sports.
@burnsideulti   Tuesday March 17th, 2015, 7:26 p.m. Retweet
RT @portlandmercury: New Community Trailer: Frisbee Avalanche! http://t.co/3DtIn5WlGB http://t.co/9P39Qdo0Yy
@burnsideulti   Sunday March 15th, 2015, 1:47 a.m. Retweet
I'm kind of upset at the secularists trying to make 3.14 "Pi day", instead of leaving it for the Truth that is Stone Cold Steve Austin.
@burnsideulti   Friday March 13th, 2015, 3:12 p.m. Retweet
my friend is a geography professor which sounds dull until you realize he probably knows what city perfect strangers took place in.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday March 11th, 2015, 4:03 a.m. Retweet
i can't be really mad at Hil for the private email snafu, because i use a fake facebook account to post on @espn
@burnsideulti   Tuesday March 10th, 2015, 8:08 p.m. Retweet
In England his name is actually "Crisp" Kelly. and he'd actually be the coach of Philadelphia "Wednesday".
@burnsideulti   Tuesday March 10th, 2015, 5:35 p.m. Retweet
who's the best ultimate player in the world? Tyler Kinley, Beau Kittredge or the Randall Cobb that I edited on Madden 15?
@burnsideulti   Tuesday March 10th, 2015, 2:50 a.m. Retweet
RT @ToughPigs: Jeff Hale, the Sesame Street animator who made the Pinball Number Count, has passed away. http://t.co/Lcc84k5U8r http://t.co…
@burnsideulti   Monday March 9th, 2015, 10:58 p.m. Retweet
I might have been partly responsible for a service rep losing her job last week. Need more info so I know just how bad to feel about it.
@burnsideulti   Monday March 9th, 2015, 3:12 a.m. Retweet
The worst ulty players in the world are the ones who clear their throats and spit ONTO the field when they're still on the sidelines.
@burnsideulti   Saturday March 7th, 2015, 9:08 p.m. Retweet
*reads baby shower invite* "what if this is just a trick to get me to go to an intervention about how i try to make everything about me?"
@burnsideulti   Friday March 6th, 2015, 7:24 p.m. Retweet
RT @RipCityUltimate: More info including a PORTLAND MEN'S PICK UP GAME: http://t.co/yUUiUVQ23c
@burnsideulti   Tuesday March 3rd, 2015, 4:26 p.m. Retweet
@burnsideulti FEEL THE BURN: How performance decreasing drugs brought down the most popular amateur team of all time Next up on @ESPN3030
@burnsideulti   Tuesday March 3rd, 2015, 4:24 p.m. Retweet
@burnsideulti FROM HUCK TO SUCK: How one team won a national championship then lost every game in goalty league. Next up on @ESPN3030
@burnsideulti   Tuesday March 3rd, 2015, 4:20 p.m. Retweet
@burnsideulti BURNSIDE ULTIMATE: The Promethean Icarus. Next up on @ESPN3030
@burnsideulti   Tuesday March 3rd, 2015, 12:19 a.m. Retweet
I really need to get a lot better at ultimate so I can screw up enough to have an ESPN 30 for 30 made about me.
@burnsideulti   Monday March 2nd, 2015, 4:30 a.m. Retweet
the best thing about listening to zz top cds is the next song is always by zz top.
@burnsideulti   Sunday March 1st, 2015, 5:38 p.m. Retweet
RT @dakotagardner: @drewmagary Every soccer player is Pete Carroll calling a pass on the one. All of them.
@burnsideulti   Friday February 27th, 2015, 6:05 p.m. Retweet
now that dr spock is died how are we gonna know how to raise babies?
@burnsideulti   Thursday February 26th, 2015, 11:42 p.m. Retweet
I would like to publicly apologize to Beck, I’m sorry Jeff.
@burnsideulti   Thursday February 26th, 2015, 9:20 p.m. Retweet
If all of twitter can band together to talk about llamas for one day, I'm pretty sure we could also eradicate ISIS by Saturday.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday February 25th, 2015, 10:08 p.m. Retweet
.@sludgebrown Spitballing some joke timing, tell me what works best. Don’t tell me if it's bad, I’m sensitive to criticism. #writer’scraft
@burnsideulti   Tuesday February 24th, 2015, 4:51 p.m. Retweet
.@officialjaden Do You Wacko People Who Tweet With Title Caps Do It By Hand Or Use MSWord and Then Cut And Paste BC This Is Hard To Do.
@burnsideulti   Tuesday February 24th, 2015, 6:06 a.m. Retweet
Spoiler Alert: Your Honda Civic doesn't go fast enough to need that thing you bolted onto the trunk.
@burnsideulti   Friday February 20th, 2015, 10:28 p.m. Retweet
RT @BrandonBeers3: @wewarrenedwards @Kyle_of_Duty @jeffburnside @burnsideulti
@burnsideulti   Friday February 20th, 2015, 4:06 p.m. Retweet
what's the statute of limitations on making a timely joke? I just thought up a burn about the grammys being for old people.
@burnsideulti   Thursday February 19th, 2015, 5:28 a.m. Retweet
RT @IanKarmel: I thought I was special, but it turns out Kersey was that kind and caring to pretty much everyone he met. He made everyone f…
@burnsideulti   Thursday February 19th, 2015, 3:53 a.m. Retweet
I've been GF for the last 20/25 minutes, and I highly recommend it.
@burnsideulti   Thursday February 19th, 2015, 12:55 a.m. Retweet
@gwenambler Now I know what team I'm rooting against.
@burnsideulti   Thursday February 19th, 2015, 12:16 a.m. Retweet
.@MrJonCryer I haven't seen your show before. Will I understand the shenanigans if I try to pick it up and watch the final episode?
@burnsideulti   Wednesday February 18th, 2015, 7:59 p.m. Retweet
I am overpaid for my production and also old and injured. Please don't send me to the Knicks on Thursday. It would devastate my family.
@burnsideulti   Monday February 16th, 2015, 7:48 p.m. Retweet
@FiveUltimateLLC @frisbeeTSK Hate to be pedantic, but it should be "BEAT Rick's Hot Kings." Not "Beet Rick's Hot Kings."
@burnsideulti   Monday February 16th, 2015, 4:13 p.m. Retweet
Does Lays have a curse word filter on this thing? http://t.co/4xOCuPzs5n
@burnsideulti   Sunday February 15th, 2015, 10:15 p.m. Retweet
First BURNSIDE recruiting trip of the year was a full success. SW region properly scouted; best talent identified. http://t.co/tEpmZd3Hqj
@burnsideulti   Sunday February 15th, 2015, 4:31 a.m. Retweet
I just finally realized it's not VALEN"times", it's "tines" you know, like tines of a fork straight into your heart. I need to read more.
@burnsideulti   Thursday February 12th, 2015, 5:11 p.m. Retweet
I can't take the @NBA seriously until they finally make the hoop dia the same as college/high school. It's supposed to be 18", not 22" !
@burnsideulti   Tuesday February 10th, 2015, 2:20 a.m. Retweet
I don't know where the hullabaloo is coming from out of Kanye. Odelay is a great album.
@burnsideulti   Sunday February 8th, 2015, 6:08 p.m. Retweet
I'm starting to think that lying old news dude might not even be Peter Pan's real dad. He probably doesn't even like hip hop either.
@burnsideulti   Friday February 6th, 2015, 5:56 a.m. Retweet
.@Oregonian Your subscription numbers should be preparing you for a real disaster.
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