@burnsideulti

@burnsideulti is the Twitter account for Burnside (USAU Club Masters 2012)

Games involving @burnsideulti
Time Team Result Team Tweets
October 27th, 2012 Burnside 0 - 0 Tejas 2 tweets
October 26th, 2012 Burnside 15 - 8 Crawl 3 tweets
October 26th, 2012 Burnside 8 - 15 Surly 2 tweets
October 25th, 2012 Burnside 15 - 10 Chesapeaked 2 tweets
Most recent tweets
@burnsideulti   Sunday June 21st, 2015, 2:17 a.m. Retweet
I found a human hair on my shower egg. Never going back to that Safeway. Unless Future put it there, but he's no Clarence Thomas.
@burnsideulti   Saturday June 20th, 2015, 8:26 p.m. Retweet
Our game with Seattle has been over for three hours and they're still scoring more. They're up 47-2 right now.
@burnsideulti   Saturday June 20th, 2015, 6:42 p.m. Retweet
Scouting report: Seattle masters are better than us.
@burnsideulti   Saturday June 20th, 2015, 2:57 p.m. Retweet
Who's your fav Sockeye player from the last five years? Unless you said Rehder, then we're about to play against that person.
@burnsideulti   Saturday June 20th, 2015, 11:43 a.m. Retweet
RT @Ashlyn_Harris: Still buzzing about coming first in the group. Do your part by tweeting #keepitreal @ScottsLawnCare so we can refurbish …
@burnsideulti   Saturday June 20th, 2015, 11:36 a.m. Retweet
RT @Breznican: The worst Sue Grafton novel ... http://t.co/hxsQtFGHv9
@burnsideulti   Saturday June 20th, 2015, 10:28 a.m. Retweet
"Well there's no specific rule that says a chimpanzee can't play ultimate, so I'm going to have to allow Bongo to play at regionals"
@burnsideulti   Saturday June 20th, 2015, 1:08 a.m. Retweet
Only •40s• kids will remember these! Polio The draft Taking pot Kevin Federline The Beatles VW Beetles Boll Weevils Beetle infestations
@burnsideulti   Friday June 19th, 2015, 11:21 p.m. Retweet
My comedy style is "aggressively unintelligent ".
@burnsideulti   Friday June 19th, 2015, 9:23 p.m. Retweet
As the @warriors begin preparation for a repeat, it's important to remember that Luc Longley was almost killed by scorpions.
@burnsideulti   Friday June 19th, 2015, 9:11 p.m. Retweet
#ff @burnsideulti @FlairWasThere @RicFlairNatrBoy @FBILosAngeles @Sony
@burnsideulti   Thursday June 18th, 2015, 11:50 p.m. Retweet
RT @JamaicaHornyBal: tennis ball
@burnsideulti   Thursday June 18th, 2015, 4:43 p.m. Retweet
RT @blood_orphan: i filled the humidifier with vape juice and monster energy drink.
@burnsideulti   Thursday June 18th, 2015, 4:05 p.m. Retweet
Steve Jobs might have lived if he had full access to the Affordable Care Act at the time of his diagnosis. https://t.co/f0rMuBpbNk
@burnsideulti   Thursday June 18th, 2015, 4:04 p.m. Retweet
But now we have TWO semi pro ultimate leagues, so it evens out. https://t.co/lbEDywRb53
@burnsideulti   Thursday June 18th, 2015, 4:03 p.m. Retweet
Bob Hope was 100 years old when he died. Did you expect him to shuffle on as a soulless zombie husk forever? https://t.co/V0UP0frfvp
@burnsideulti   Thursday June 18th, 2015, 4:02 p.m. Retweet
You might be less upset if you considered how far e-cig technology has progressed since Johnny Cash passed away. https://t.co/77zOOC089F
@burnsideulti   Thursday June 18th, 2015, 4:02 p.m. Retweet
Bacon is made of pig meat. Kevin Bacon is a human and we don’t actually eat parts of him. https://t.co/PvaiGKVCCQ
@burnsideulti   Thursday June 18th, 2015, 3:19 p.m. Retweet
RT @murphttam: If two murder suspects were lined up, one with a bad bowl haircut and one with "I SHOT THEM" shaved into his head,my money i…
@burnsideulti   Thursday June 18th, 2015, 9:31 a.m. Retweet
The middle of the night is when you can go off message w tweets and not bore your constituents. This tweet won't even really mention vaping.
@burnsideulti   Thursday June 18th, 2015, 4:06 a.m. Retweet
RT @senderblock23: "Smoking!!!" - Jim Carey from The Mask (1994)
@burnsideulti   Wednesday June 17th, 2015, 8:50 p.m. Retweet
My dad used to say that you can't start a car with the AC on or it will ruin the engine. I think he was lying. Was he lying to us?
@burnsideulti   Wednesday June 17th, 2015, 7:49 p.m. Retweet
I keep getting reqs to promote hukkah bars and medical mj? I tweet about #vapelife solely for the love of it, and am against ALL drug use.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday June 17th, 2015, 7:07 p.m. Retweet
If I were Neil Young I wouldn't let Trump use "keep on rockin" either bc it reminds us all that it's not a very good song.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday June 17th, 2015, 4:41 p.m. Retweet
RT @blood_orphan: *blowing on vape pen like a recorder* *a cobra with a snapback hat on slowly rises out of wicker basket*
@burnsideulti   Wednesday June 17th, 2015, 2:14 p.m. Retweet
Didn't have time for breakfast this AM, so I put raw egg yolk in my ecig and vaped that on my bus ride in to work. #VapeLife
@burnsideulti   Wednesday June 17th, 2015, 3:53 a.m. Retweet
Before anyone suggests that the #NBAFinals mvp shouldn't go to a player on the losing team, remember that LeBron has to play w/ JR Smith.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday June 17th, 2015, 12:48 a.m. Retweet
Keep your friends door close, keep your enemy's door closers. Then they won't pass a fire marshal inspection.
@burnsideulti   Tuesday June 16th, 2015, 9:58 p.m. Retweet
RT @REI: For stargazers, epic camper Mark recommends Cape Lookout, OR. #letscamp http://t.co/TOkKScxaIa
@burnsideulti   Tuesday June 16th, 2015, 5:23 p.m. Retweet
@burnsideulti EDIT: This is for mixed, so I know there really aren't any "rules", just basic suggestions and rules of thumb.
@burnsideulti   Tuesday June 16th, 2015, 5:22 p.m. Retweet
Has USAU ruled yet on whether or not we can vape on the field during play? I can't find anything in the guidelines.
@burnsideulti   Monday June 15th, 2015, 10:27 p.m. Retweet
RT @PostCultRev: Here's a "Game of Thrones" spoiler for you all: you're a nerd watching a dragon show and talking about it like a toddler w…
@burnsideulti   Monday June 15th, 2015, 3:23 a.m. Retweet
Cavs would be up 4-1 right now if they hadn't traded World B Free.
@burnsideulti   Monday June 15th, 2015, 3:21 a.m. Retweet
@burnsideulti Lol sorry everybody! Sorry for the hot take, totally forgot about big z, nance and price. Egg is on my face!
@burnsideulti   Monday June 15th, 2015, 1:38 a.m. Retweet
After this #NBAFinals2015, #LeBron *has* to be considered one of the top five all time Cavs along with ehlo and daugherty.
@burnsideulti   Monday June 15th, 2015, 1:26 a.m. Retweet
.@Golfsmith At first I thought your name was "golf's myth", and the myth was that golf was fun. I was wrong, but still right.
@burnsideulti   Sunday June 14th, 2015, 11:05 p.m. Retweet
I think the world is finally ready for a dark & gritty cgi reboot of Fraggle Rock.
@burnsideulti   Sunday June 14th, 2015, 1:00 a.m. Retweet
Just chilling at the jr hi ball fields, giving this little mini light saber vape a quick beejer. #VapeLife http://t.co/VbMFa3obMw
@burnsideulti   Sunday June 14th, 2015, 12:59 a.m. Retweet
RT @duck_in_pants: current status: wearing pants
@burnsideulti   Saturday June 13th, 2015, 5:10 p.m. Retweet
Hypotheticals: Could an #nfl team w 3 mos practice beat @revolverult Could @detroitmechanix w 3 mos practice beat a coed YCC team?
@burnsideulti   Saturday June 13th, 2015, 4:41 p.m. Retweet
When vaping is outlawed, only outlaws will vape. https://t.co/bNo2GU3GYh
@burnsideulti   Friday June 12th, 2015, 10:26 p.m. Retweet
#FF @TwitterAds @Microsoft @Halliburton @EpcotCentre
@burnsideulti   Friday June 12th, 2015, 10:03 p.m. Retweet
Matthew Dellavadova is my favorite fictional ultimate player.
@burnsideulti   Friday June 12th, 2015, 9:46 p.m. Retweet
RT @EpcotCentre: Junior high doesn't mean sixth grade & it doesn't mean ninth grade. It means seventh & eighth grade & that's just the way …
@burnsideulti   Friday June 12th, 2015, 5:48 p.m. Retweet
We need to go with 7 rings instead of 5 for the Olympics because of the players on the field. http://t.co/PIPQamS4mK
@burnsideulti   Friday June 12th, 2015, 6:55 a.m. Retweet
@burnsideulti For Sale: Baby Vape, Never Smoked.
@burnsideulti   Friday June 12th, 2015, 4:45 a.m. Retweet
FOR SALE: BABY SHOES, PLAYED OUT.
@burnsideulti   Thursday June 11th, 2015, 10:24 p.m. Retweet
the saddest thing about Christopher Lee passing away is there are no pictures of him with awesome muttonchops instead of a boring old beard.
@burnsideulti   Thursday June 11th, 2015, 10:23 p.m. Retweet
the saddest thing about Dusty Rhodes passing away is it wasn't the dull annoying one.
@burnsideulti   Thursday June 11th, 2015, 6:09 p.m. Retweet
Hitching our endorsement horse to vape pens isn't as lucrative as we hoped. Wish we'd gone with the funeral home like our cpt suggested.
@burnsideulti   Thursday June 11th, 2015, 4:45 p.m. Retweet
The best part of vapes is the nicotine comes inside a little mini lightsaber. A mini lightsaber that you can give a discrete beejer to.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday June 10th, 2015, 11:20 p.m. Retweet
RT @Karate_Horse: Sorry I lit your deck on fire but I lost my vape under there and didn't want to bend over to get it
@burnsideulti   Wednesday June 10th, 2015, 4:39 p.m. Retweet
The team won't let me choose the sideline music bc I only listen to ZZ Top, Gordon Lightfoot and Ladytron.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday June 10th, 2015, 4:38 p.m. Retweet
I'm not the kind of guy that has brand loyalty with razor blades, but I once cried during a @Gillette commercial bc I missed my dad.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday June 10th, 2015, 3:47 p.m. Retweet
@burnsideulti ...And that's when we knew that *WE* were Hanging With Mr. Cooper.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday June 10th, 2015, 3:46 p.m. Retweet
...And that's when we knew that *WE* were The Walking Dead.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday June 10th, 2015, 3:46 p.m. Retweet
@burnsideulti ...And that's when we knew that *WE* were Heroes.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday June 10th, 2015, 3:46 p.m. Retweet
@burnsideulti ...And that's when we knew that *WE* were Lost.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday June 10th, 2015, 1:59 a.m. Retweet
Excited for the @NBA right now! So who do ya think the Cavs will draft?
@burnsideulti   Tuesday June 9th, 2015, 10:55 p.m. Retweet
@prideofny Glad you didn't cut the guy the guy who knew the twitter password.
@burnsideulti   Tuesday June 9th, 2015, 4:17 a.m. Retweet
We're giving a free spot on our team to the first former Callahan winner that faves this tweet. We'll pay your Usau dues and jersey fees.
@burnsideulti   Tuesday June 9th, 2015, 4:13 a.m. Retweet
.@Lowes don't you think you should have taken better advantage of the fact that HOPE SOLO is almost an anagram of SO, LOWES.
@burnsideulti   Monday June 8th, 2015, 7:16 p.m. Retweet
Not a lot of people know that there's an extra hidden C in Connecticut. Hiding right there in plain sight.
@burnsideulti   Monday June 8th, 2015, 7:12 p.m. Retweet
RT @_knuck_: cop: tell us what you know vape cop: [blows vape smoke] "do you know where the closest vape shop is?"
@burnsideulti   Monday June 8th, 2015, 6:22 p.m. Retweet
I joined the list of boycotters of @entouragemovie until they put back in the 17 minutes of #vape footage the producers forced them to cut.
@burnsideulti   Monday June 8th, 2015, 4:41 p.m. Retweet
RT @AbrasiveGhost: Detective: Any ideas how to catch this killer? Vape cop: What if we smoked him out? [exhales the biggest fucken vape hi…
@burnsideulti   Monday June 8th, 2015, 2:38 p.m. Retweet
RT @Reverend_Scott: [pharmacy] "I need a refill for my inhaler" U mean ur 'vape pen for little bitches?' "WHAT DID U J-" Wow, what a li…
@burnsideulti   Sunday June 7th, 2015, 9:48 p.m. Retweet
Rick Perry is really just a dumber version of Jefferson D'Arcy. http://t.co/Xv5pDuDHNm
@burnsideulti   Sunday June 7th, 2015, 9:07 p.m. Retweet
I think an ulty player carrying a stick would be dangerous. https://t.co/FrkIMcmpiq
@burnsideulti   Sunday June 7th, 2015, 9:06 p.m. Retweet
RT @R0NNYJ: Full Version Tomorrow #Ultimate http://t.co/ZmPz4xJD6y
@burnsideulti   Sunday June 7th, 2015, 12:42 a.m. Retweet
With big wins today by @serenawilliams @FCBarcelona and American @Pharrell, it begs the question: which of those 3 would win the @XGames?
@burnsideulti   Saturday June 6th, 2015, 11:32 p.m. Retweet
Why the long face bravo and revolver? Maybe bc some horse already won the #tct15 Better luck next year.
@burnsideulti   Saturday June 6th, 2015, 6:59 p.m. Retweet
Burnside plans to do this for our new ETL teammates. https://t.co/jcryg9Eczn
@burnsideulti   Saturday June 6th, 2015, 6:37 p.m. Retweet
.@AndrewWK are you and Louis C.K. brothers? K isn't a very common last name so I was just wondering.
@burnsideulti   Saturday June 6th, 2015, 6:14 p.m. Retweet
RT @ladybroseph: *tries to act cool but calls it vaporing*
@burnsideulti   Saturday June 6th, 2015, 3:59 p.m. Retweet
*Why do they call it a WORLD cup when only the ... * *Oh, everyone can qualify?* *Never mind then.*
@burnsideulti   Friday June 5th, 2015, 4:20 p.m. Retweet
RT @Tri_Offense: 38 years ago today @BillWalton led the @trailblazers to their first and only NBA title. http://t.co/GfPOs8EbZf
@burnsideulti   Friday June 5th, 2015, 4:04 p.m. Retweet
#ff FOR A GOOD TIME FOLLOW= @ESPN_Burnside @BroganBurnside @JulianBurnside @MatthewBurnside @iainburnside @oaklandraiders @willhear
@burnsideulti   Friday June 5th, 2015, 2:21 p.m. Retweet
The current Duggar news cycle reminds me of that famous old @carlosmencia joke 'YOUR CLOWN CAR LOOKS LINE A VAHEENA'
@burnsideulti   Friday June 5th, 2015, 1:34 p.m. Retweet
FIFA's skullduggery has gone so far they are now stealing the name "ultimate". And Cody's likeness. http://t.co/aUz15ENjLF
@burnsideulti   Thursday June 4th, 2015, 8:55 a.m. Retweet
All the great jokes have already been taken. http://t.co/uCfh4Nr24e
@burnsideulti   Thursday June 4th, 2015, 8:48 a.m. Retweet
RT @mynameisntdave: When it's cold out and I can see my breath, I pretend im smoking a from a vape pen because I'm a douche who lives in th…
@burnsideulti   Thursday June 4th, 2015, 12:46 a.m. Retweet
.@StephenCurry30 when your dad got traded to the Cavs did they just say "dude you're getting a curry!" Bc the commercial didn't exist yet?
@burnsideulti   Wednesday June 3rd, 2015, 11:03 p.m. Retweet
Caught my nephew smoking a vape pen, so we made him finish a whole tub of vape juice in one sitting to teach him a lesson.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday June 3rd, 2015, 10:13 p.m. Retweet
Is it weird that I read all of my tweets in my voice? I don't mentally hear some sort of aggregate team communal voice instead.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday June 3rd, 2015, 2:21 p.m. Retweet
#WD40Uses Spray wd40 on top of your cleats to untie your laces faster if you get a blister. Please rt #sponsored
@burnsideulti   Wednesday June 3rd, 2015, 12:22 a.m. Retweet
I'm already bored this offseason. When do NBA training camps open up again?
@burnsideulti   Tuesday June 2nd, 2015, 8:56 p.m. Retweet
Possible New Portland Area Guinness Book Categories: -Youngest White Person w/Dreads -Least Tattooed -Fastest IPA Case Race -Fattest Vegan
@burnsideulti   Tuesday June 2nd, 2015, 4:58 p.m. Retweet
"We didn't try to make a feminist action movie, Charleze Theron was just the only one in the cast who could act" -George "Romero" Miller
@burnsideulti   Tuesday June 2nd, 2015, 4:46 p.m. Retweet
Is there a truly unwinnable game of spider solitaire? We don't know just yet, but my work has been paying me to find out this past week.
@burnsideulti   Tuesday June 2nd, 2015, 2:54 p.m. Retweet
RT @dwayne846: #BadTeamBuildingActivities Dismissing team members until none remain
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