@burnsideulti

@burnsideulti is the Twitter account for Burnside (USAU Club Masters 2012)

Games involving @burnsideulti
Time Team Result Team Tweets
October 27th, 2012 Burnside 0 - 0 Tejas 2 tweets
October 26th, 2012 Burnside 15 - 8 Crawl 3 tweets
October 26th, 2012 Burnside 8 - 15 Surly 2 tweets
October 25th, 2012 Burnside 15 - 10 Chesapeaked 2 tweets
Most recent tweets
@burnsideulti   Tuesday February 2nd, 2016, 3:12 p.m. Retweet
Gonna write some good Goaltimate material today..
@burnsideulti   Tuesday February 2nd, 2016, 2:32 p.m. Retweet
Gonna write some good Goaltimate material today.
@burnsideulti   Tuesday February 2nd, 2016, 2:17 p.m. Retweet
Gonna write some good Goaltimate material today.
@burnsideulti   Monday February 1st, 2016, 6:18 p.m. Retweet
.@blakegriffin32 Want to try and explain this away too? https://t.co/SyrDKRHFFt
@burnsideulti   Sunday January 31st, 2016, 9:20 p.m. Retweet
I feel like billy joel doesn't get enough credit, just bc he sucks at music doesn't mean he should only get a $1500 limit on his MasterCard.
@burnsideulti   Sunday January 31st, 2016, 5:04 a.m. Retweet
https://t.co/UY7aGc8oLp is like that, totally vibrant last week, but now a sad relic of the past. https://t.co/U2MZgCNoQF
@burnsideulti   Saturday January 30th, 2016, 8:19 p.m. Retweet
Tfw you living in a alternative reality. #berenstein https://t.co/iohVyBTO19
@burnsideulti   Saturday January 30th, 2016, 5:41 p.m. Retweet
They also just play for the love of the game instead of being entitled whiny millionaires. https://t.co/MQ51tOlLiM
@burnsideulti   Saturday January 30th, 2016, 5:54 a.m. Retweet
I wish Hollywood was ready for a grim and gritty reboot of Ladyhawk with Rutger Hauer in the Rutger Hauer role.
@burnsideulti   Friday January 29th, 2016, 9:40 p.m. Retweet
What's the trick to providing what I consider the best goalty Twitter account ever? Staying Humble.
@burnsideulti   Friday January 29th, 2016, 5:23 p.m. Retweet
.@discnw How much will @PDX_Ultimate need to pay you to take back Werbel? They ably have 87,000 dollars in the coffers FYI
@burnsideulti   Friday January 29th, 2016, 5:56 a.m. Retweet
Switzerland beats USA in the GPA finals 11-9. @usagoaltimate hasn't even had their first tournament yet. https://t.co/qgPwHQChB5
@burnsideulti   Friday January 29th, 2016, 2:18 a.m. Retweet
Smart move to step down 1 yr b4 USA mixed prolly loses to AUS in the @Olympics to deflect potential criticism. https://t.co/z5KyiV3ki9
@burnsideulti   Thursday January 28th, 2016, 7:59 p.m. Retweet
Good job Phil! I remember back when he was just an ass man. https://t.co/EvrtiNupzE
@burnsideulti   Thursday January 28th, 2016, 6:31 p.m. Retweet
@burnsideulti "Beaufort Kitteredge and Dominique Fontennot" are undoubtedly the two most LAXbro names in ultimate.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday January 27th, 2016, 9:43 p.m. Retweet
It breaks my heart to think of all the overprivileged kids that never get to play GOALTY. All because their parents make them play lacrosse.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday January 27th, 2016, 7:48 p.m. Retweet
being really disappointed in accepting whatever you can get should be called "upsettling" because that's how I've lived my entire life.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday January 27th, 2016, 3:51 a.m. Retweet
RT @ch000ch: cool how the 'b' in the word subtle was like "u guys mind if i come too"
@burnsideulti   Tuesday January 26th, 2016, 8:15 p.m. Retweet
Any truth to the rumor that Skip started @usagoaltimate to stop ulty teams from complaining when they had to play on 26 yard wide fields?
@burnsideulti   Tuesday January 26th, 2016, 7:52 p.m. Retweet
There's only one reason to own a colored ultrastar. It's because you might have to play in the snow. https://t.co/sd7i3pJqiP
@burnsideulti   Monday January 25th, 2016, 6:51 p.m. Retweet
RT @pdxbrocialite: Next time a boomer gets all condescending about millennials remember most of them thought Snapple was healthy well into …
@burnsideulti   Monday January 25th, 2016, 5:46 p.m. Retweet
@MadisonRadicals @SHEADYguy How does he find the time off from his cop job? https://t.co/YLCCHqlAzh
@burnsideulti   Monday January 25th, 2016, 3:57 a.m. Retweet
If this is the next x files, shouldn't it be xi files?
@burnsideulti   Sunday January 24th, 2016, 7:13 p.m. Retweet
The roughneck owner must be having a fit that mickle might frivolously throw away the year on a silly national team. https://t.co/eJZyltyMhB
@burnsideulti   Saturday January 23rd, 2016, 7:26 p.m. Retweet
Just imagine if some of those townsfolk in southern Oregon had these, the Bundys would be long gone by now. https://t.co/G5TVfQTHro
@burnsideulti   Saturday January 23rd, 2016, 7:11 p.m. Retweet
This blizzard has no effect on the scheduled GOALTY games this afternoon. Do not adjust your schedules.
@burnsideulti   Friday January 22nd, 2016, 5:52 p.m. Retweet
(•_•) <) )╯ / \ \ (•_•) ( (> / \ (•_•) <) )> / \ (•_•) ) ) < / \ > this doesn't work
@burnsideulti   Wednesday January 20th, 2016, 4:21 a.m. Retweet
RT @PaulyShore: @Kato_Kaelin What up what up. Follow me, I need to DM you about something. Hope all is well. Don't have your cell anymore. …
@burnsideulti   Wednesday January 20th, 2016, 12:36 a.m. Retweet
RT @NoTheOtherJohn: I took AP sex ed in high school so I didn't have to do sex in college.
@burnsideulti   Tuesday January 19th, 2016, 9:42 p.m. Retweet
@burnsideulti Sorry, this was an ultimate question, if you were confused. My guess is Reid Koss.
@burnsideulti   Tuesday January 19th, 2016, 9:27 p.m. Retweet
Who's the best player ever that wore transition lenses?
@burnsideulti   Monday January 18th, 2016, 5:30 p.m. Retweet
RT @_SocSpecialist_: "Our only hope lies in going out into a sometimes hostile world & declaring eternal hostility to poverty, racism, & mi…
@burnsideulti   Sunday January 17th, 2016, 11:33 p.m. Retweet
Where the heck do you expect us to come up with highlights? https://t.co/JNwbXhKznH
@burnsideulti   Sunday January 17th, 2016, 4:07 p.m. Retweet
Clean drinking water should be free to everyone. Screw those companies too for helping create these situations. https://t.co/tJoVTkaBZT
@burnsideulti   Sunday January 17th, 2016, 3:01 p.m. Retweet
@burnsideulti On 1 side you have the GPA, great at everything, then there's @usagoaltimate who are bad at everything and make everyone sad.
@burnsideulti   Sunday January 17th, 2016, 3:01 p.m. Retweet
What's your take on the total lack of parity in GOALTIMATE in 2016?
@burnsideulti   Sunday January 17th, 2016, 3:48 a.m. Retweet
Scientists say that the most intense pain a person can feel is from childbirth, but they've never lost DGP at goalty pickup.
@burnsideulti   Sunday January 17th, 2016, 3:39 a.m. Retweet
RT @hslaurent: children were asked to write down their own jokes https://t.co/zEFN4ZB1da
@burnsideulti   Friday January 15th, 2016, 5:20 p.m. Retweet
Been off line for a few days, what is this news we hear about a mutiny?
@burnsideulti   Friday January 15th, 2016, 1:33 a.m. Retweet
RT @WigCannon: sports were invented in 1902 by john sports when he saw a ball and started clapping
@burnsideulti   Thursday January 14th, 2016, 9:30 p.m. Retweet
RT @nbadag: the IHOP staff locked me in the bathroom again, this time for teaching my son to catch pancakes in his mouth like a dog with a …
@burnsideulti   Thursday January 14th, 2016, 4:24 p.m. Retweet
On a scale of 1-10, 1 being Trent Simmons, and 10 being Michelle Ng, how successful will @usagoaltimate be?
@burnsideulti   Thursday January 14th, 2016, 1:36 a.m. Retweet
Thanks a lot. :( If this had existed back in my day I woulda graduated instead of trying out for the Cinti Royals. https://t.co/7VJ9tQOKXS
@burnsideulti   Wednesday January 13th, 2016, 3:44 a.m. Retweet
It's kinda bullshit that usagoaltimate tried to steal GOALTY from me on a day when folks are more concerned with #sota . Typical skip.
@burnsideulti   Tuesday January 12th, 2016, 4:26 p.m. Retweet
Bowie, Lemmy, JB, Boon, Coltrane, Miles, Bolan... The last 50 years have been tough on my favorite musicians. When will the deaths stop?
@burnsideulti   Saturday January 9th, 2016, 10:02 p.m. Retweet
#NFLPlayoffs are great bc you finally get to see pro football played with the intensity of goaltimate pickup.
@burnsideulti   Friday January 8th, 2016, 8:22 p.m. Retweet
The most innovative goaltimate offenses crib heavily from foosball.
@burnsideulti   Friday January 8th, 2016, 7:21 p.m. Retweet
Alice didn't fill out my name right on the goalty list last night so I wasn't allowed to play. At least that's what Miguel told me.
@burnsideulti   Thursday January 7th, 2016, 9:21 p.m. Retweet
Now that we're past fall tryout season, who are the best women's college goaltimate teams for the spring? Too early to predict the 4ourpete?
@burnsideulti   Thursday January 7th, 2016, 6:02 p.m. Retweet
Isn't this offense what every single team in 1992 ran? https://t.co/SJbE9iUV5U
@burnsideulti   Wednesday January 6th, 2016, 6:32 p.m. Retweet
@burnsideulti Whoops. Just got informed I was supposed to fill out a permit for those fields. Need to reassess my worldview now.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday January 6th, 2016, 6:31 p.m. Retweet
We don't have to get a permit to rent a field for a goaltimate tournament, so why should we have to get a permit to buy a gun?
@burnsideulti   Wednesday January 6th, 2016, 12:21 a.m. Retweet
if you were wondering, just bc we live in Oregon that doesn't mean any militias have occupied our goaltimate games. militia free since 2016
@burnsideulti   Monday January 4th, 2016, 10:30 p.m. Retweet
One of these days I will finally tell those bullies that I drew cartoons for my hi school newspaper and then I bet they'll stop making fun.
@burnsideulti   Sunday January 3rd, 2016, 10:29 p.m. Retweet
Neither rain, nor sleet, nor locked gates at the local high school..... https://t.co/ZYYGLLJqVo
@burnsideulti   Sunday January 3rd, 2016, 3:27 p.m. Retweet
@burnsideulti Jk it's to try and salvage my disastrous relationship with my estranged brother. :(
@burnsideulti   Sunday January 3rd, 2016, 3:26 p.m. Retweet
My New Years Resolution is to play more goaltimate!
@burnsideulti   Sunday January 3rd, 2016, 12:34 a.m. Retweet
One of the smartest innovations that pro ice hockey borrowed from goaltimate was the whole "you're allowed to go behind the goal" thing.
@burnsideulti   Saturday January 2nd, 2016, 5:00 a.m. Retweet
earlier today we played a game of goalty inside this dude's mouth. dark beat light 5-3 https://t.co/wV9KOtgY9y
@burnsideulti   Saturday January 2nd, 2016, 3:30 a.m. Retweet
the world's a funny place. 1000 men and wild horses couldn't drag us apart, but love and lisa can easily tear us apart.
@burnsideulti   Friday January 1st, 2016, 8:51 p.m. Retweet
What is your top new album of 2016? I just got a five dollar iTunes gift card.
@burnsideulti   Friday January 1st, 2016, 3:04 p.m. Retweet
With the 2010s now half over, goaltimate anthropologists will look back on this decade as being "justifiably swole".
@burnsideulti   Friday January 1st, 2016, 2:59 p.m. Retweet
RT @LansburyReact: When someone says that 2016 is going to be their year. https://t.co/6a28Q0h09Y
@burnsideulti   Thursday December 31st, 2015, 11:58 p.m. Retweet
@burnsideulti Top 3 GOALTY cool down bands for 2015 1:Gordon Lightfoot 2:ZZ Top 3:Ladytron
@burnsideulti   Thursday December 31st, 2015, 11:57 p.m. Retweet
Top 3 GOALTY warm up bands for 2015 1:Gordon Lightfoot 2:Ladytron 3:ZZ Top
@burnsideulti   Thursday December 31st, 2015, 11:22 p.m. Retweet
Movie pitch: Die Hard with Vin Diesel, but on a Goaltimate field.
@burnsideulti   Thursday December 31st, 2015, 3:19 a.m. Retweet
Is @realDonaldTrump's whole campaign just another really elaborate @jimmykimmel viral video?
@burnsideulti   Wednesday December 30th, 2015, 8:30 p.m. Retweet
Normally I hate trick shots, but Is this the lamest trick shot ever? https://t.co/CqG3UkhJJv
@burnsideulti   Tuesday December 29th, 2015, 9:39 p.m. Retweet
You know those people that only go outside when they play goalty? Yeah.....
@burnsideulti   Tuesday December 29th, 2015, 4:38 a.m. Retweet
Burnside will be wearing a commemorative patch next year. https://t.co/VPxMM68Hi5
@burnsideulti   Monday December 28th, 2015, 3:14 p.m. Retweet
My spirit animal is a ugnaught.
@burnsideulti   Sunday December 27th, 2015, 9:58 p.m. Retweet
One of the classiest traditions in goalty is when the white team finally loses and the black team gets shitfaced on champagne during a point
@burnsideulti   Sunday December 27th, 2015, 3:21 p.m. Retweet
Goaltimate for breakfast, a second goaltimate for lunch to ease cravings, then a sensible goaltimate for dinner.
@burnsideulti   Sunday December 27th, 2015, 2:41 a.m. Retweet
RT @MCSerch: Favorite Rakim verse. Ready....Go. Rakim is GOAT
@burnsideulti   Friday December 25th, 2015, 4:15 p.m. Retweet
When did we all start gifting exotic pickles for Xmas? I think it was the pilgrims, but my life partner insists it goes back to Marco Polo.
@burnsideulti   Thursday December 24th, 2015, 8:15 p.m. Retweet
Is Twitter going to be closed tomorrow bc of the holidays?
@burnsideulti   Monday December 21st, 2015, 8:58 p.m. Retweet
@burnsideulti I threw them out at Chipotle, but they might still be in the can, it wasn't too busy yesterday.
@burnsideulti   Monday December 21st, 2015, 8:58 p.m. Retweet
Looked in my pockets & found some keys after goalty yesterday. They're not mine, picked them up by mistake. Leather fob, says "Steve".
@burnsideulti   Sunday December 20th, 2015, 3:22 a.m. Retweet
RT @BatLabels: OCEANIC REPELLENT BAT SPRAYS #rerun https://t.co/J5TNhVbedk
@burnsideulti   Friday December 18th, 2015, 3:27 a.m. Retweet
"Well son...an Ewok comes from when a daddy Yoda and a mommy Chewbacca love each other very much and give each other special adult hugs..."
@burnsideulti   Thursday December 17th, 2015, 4:16 p.m. Retweet
Should GOALTY coaches wear suits like in basketball, or player uniforms like in baseball? (Just writing some irrevocable rules right now.)
@burnsideulti   Wednesday December 16th, 2015, 8:36 p.m. Retweet
Too bad Disney spent billions on #StarWarsForceAwakens ads, but nobody is going to even see it bc of the big goalty tourney this weekend.
@burnsideulti   Wednesday December 16th, 2015, 8:32 p.m. Retweet
RT @IAmSpilly: WHITE QB: I support the xenophobic racist. We are pals PUBLIC: ha ha oh tom BLACK QB: I dance when I'm happy PUBLIC: THINK…
@burnsideulti   Tuesday December 15th, 2015, 5:55 p.m. Retweet
Is teaching your child how to play baseball instead of goaltimate technically child abuse, or just child neglect?
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